Brought to the Brink
by godsdaughter77
Summary: John Sheppard goes on a mission, but gets captured…whump and angst ensue.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis and no infringement was intended, just having some fun with the characters

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis and no infringement was intended, just having some fun with the characters.

Spoiler Alert: This story is set after Outcast and anything from a previous episode is at risk for spoilers, but Outcast is the only one, which has major spoilers.

Summary: John Sheppard goes on a mission, but gets captured…whump and angst ensue.

A/N: A previous mission mentioned in this story involving the character Bric'ien is my own creation and any information you need to know about it is contained within the story itself.

Brought to the Brink

"McKay I just think that the Fantastic Four are the greatest superhero team ever!"

"Au contraire, Colonel, Batman is the ultimate superhero and thus when he was teamed with Robin that was the greatest superhero team ever."

"Listen McKay, I'm not saying Batman isn't great, I'm just saying that Batman and Robin are NOT the greatest superhero TEAM."

Before McKay could come up with a snappy comeback Colonel Carter interrupted McKay's and Sheppard's vital debate.

"Excuse gentlemen, we need to get started on the debriefing and everyone else is already here."

Sheppard and McKay quickly made their way over to the open seats at the end of the room as they saw that Ronon, Lorne, and four other marines: O'Brien, Kent, Weston, and Conner were already sitting around the table. They turned their full attention to Colonel Samantha Carter as she began the debriefing.

"As all of you know Bric'ien and his men have been targeting Atlantis teams ever since the Atlantis flag team freed all their prisoners, and destroyed their main base of operations two months ago.

"Well we have a new lead on Bric'ien's position. Apparently he has set up another lab on the planet M1732 and is working to make a biological weapon he can use against Atlantis."

When Carter paused, McKay broke in to ask "where did we get this information? And how do we know it is not a trap?"

John was the one to answer the question saying, "we got the information from the Genii, and the truth is we don't know if it is a trap or not. However, we do know that it is at least partly based in truth. Many of the prisoners we rescued had been experimented on in an attempt to develop some sort of biological weapon. Plus, we know that before we destroyed his base, he was able to get out a lot of his research on the biological weapon. It would not be difficult to assume that after two months he is beginning to get it up and running again."

"We need to hit him before he gets a chance to harm more of the members of the Atlantis expedition. Also, according to the Genii, Bric'ien is getting close to being able to stage an attack against the Atlantis base" Carter explained.

"So basically, we think it is worth the risk of being a trap, considering the potential benefits. The Genii have given us a basic outlay of the base, and I think that with a small team we can get in, destroy the weapon Bric'ien is making, upload a virus that will wipe clean all of his research, and if we are lucky maybe even capture Bric'ien himself" John said.

"Yeah, but even if we destroy his research at that outpost, won't he have the information at another one?" asked Lorne.

"No, he won't" replied Sheppard. "He's too paranoid for that. He does not want to risk other people getting a hold of all his research and using it against him, and he figures the fewer places he keeps it the better. Especially since not only his he worried about the Genii or us getting our hands on it, he does not exactly trust all the people that are working for him."

"Alright" replied Ronon, "so what's the plan?"

Colonel Carter answered the question, "All of you will infiltrate the base. Sheppard, Lorne, Kent, and O'Brien will seek out the weapon to destroy it, since Sheppard was the one who saw what the prototype looked like at the previous lab, while Ronon, Weston, Rodney, and Conner will go to upload the virus."

"Any other questions? Alright everyone look over the diagram of the base and be ready to leave at 0700 hours tomorrow morning, which will correspond with twilight on M5G-173. Okay, I am going to leave all of you to work out any remaining details while I take care of some other business. Good luck!" Colonel Carter said as she left the briefing room. The next hour was spent with everyone going over the details of the mission.

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The plan, as always, worked great at first. Sheppard, O'Brien, Lorne, and Kent had only encountered a few patrols on the way in, and easily incapacitated all of them. They quickly found the weapon and began placing the C4 to blow it up. Suddenly the radio interrupted the silence.

"Sheppard we have trouble!" Ronon all but shouted over the radio.

"What's happening?" Asked Sheppard as he was already beginning to head to their location.

"Rodney and I separated from the others after Conner was stunned, so that Weston would have a chance to hide him in a side room. They are holed up and can't get out without assistance. I believe guards are too close to their position for them to radio you themselves. Rodney and I are unable to get to the computers as well at this point as too many of these guys are chasing us."

"Where are you headed right now?"

"We are headed in the direction of the stargate at this point."

"Alright, keep heading that direction, but don't actually exit the complex if you can help it, because when we get Weston and Conner, we will need you to double back and use the virus. Lorne and Kent, finish blowing up the weapon. O'Brien, you and I will head over to help Weston and Conner." Even as Sheppard said all this everyone was springing into action.

It did not take them long to reach the area Weston and Conner were hiding in, but it felt like an eternity. Sheppard watching the life signs detector saw that there were four guards walking towards were Conner and Weston were hiding out and realized that they would need to take the guards out if they were going to help Conner and Weston.

"Lorne, we are right by Conner and Weston's position. Are you almost done setting the weapon up to blow?"

"Yes sir! We are just about finished."

"Excellent! Alright, I need you to blow it in 30 seconds. I think that should be just the distraction we need to take out some guys in our way."

"Understood" was Lorne's quick reply.

Sheppard and O'Brien got in position so that they could take out the guards as quickly as possible. Both of their guns at the ready, they watched the life signs detector and were ready when there was a sudden explosion that made the entire facility shake and tremble. Not wasting any time O'Brien and Sheppard jumped out of their hiding place and began shooting towards the guards. They took them all out in less than a minute and headed to the room where Conner and Weston were hidden.

Opening the door, they found Conner lying unconscious on the ground and Weston kneeling over him with his gun pointed towards Sheppard and O'Brien. As soon as Weston saw who was at the door he lowered his gun and O'Brien and Weston pulled Conner's arms over their shoulders and began to exit the room after Sheppard had checked the life signs detector to ensure that no guards were near.

"Lorne, we have Weston and Conner, head to the gate with Kent. We will meet you there."

"Rodney, Ronon, double back to the control room and release the virus while everyone is still distracted by the explosion."

As they began to go slowly down the corridor Sheppard took point and led them carefully towards the gate trying to make sure that his men would get out of the facility safely.

They managed to avoid patrols until they were almost outside the complex. At the exit closest to them there were two guards standing watch.

Waving Weston and O'Brien back, Sheppard crept slowly forward and took aim taking out both guards before the second could realize the first had been hit.

By this time, night had fully descended upon the planet, and Sheppard kept glancing at the LSD to make sure there was no one about to jump out at them. However, before they could make it far outside, Ronon's voice broke the silence once again.

"McKay's been hit, and is bleeding a lot. I need to get him out of here."

"Understood, get him to the gate," said Sheppard even as his heartbeat began to race over how badly Rodney was injured. Trying to force his mind back on the task at hand he asked "did he manage to infect their computers with the virus?"

"Negative."

Sheppard knew there was not really any choice in the matter. On the one hand, he could get through the gate without destroying all the research, but if he did that he knew that Atlantis could be eventually breeched with the horrendous weapon Bric'ien had developed. On the other hand, he could destroy the research, which would remove the threat of that weapon ever being rebuilt, but would also insure his own capture or death. Without hesitation Sheppard ordered Weston and O'Brien to continue towards the gate with Connor as he began to race away from the gate and towards the lab. He then radioed the rest of the team, telling them to go through the gate with Rodney and Connor as soon as they got to the stargate and to raise the shield to prevent any unwanted visitors.

"What about you Colonel?" asked a clearly reluctant Major Lorne, as if he already knew that Sheppard was planning to sacrifice himself for everyone on Atlantis.

"Just get everyone through the gate when everyone shows up Major! And that means you to Ronon. That. Is. An. Order."

Despite the reluctance everyone was feeling they knew they could not disobey Sheppard when he spoke in that voice and knew they would have to go through the event horizon when they reached the gate.

Sheppard made his way stealthily down the corridors of the base retracing the route to the lab he had studied on the diagram back on Atlantis. Apparently the explosion was still tying everyone up and he was able to make it to the control room without any trouble. Just as he was reaching it Lorne radioed that everyone else was through the gate.

"Alright, go through yourself Lorne and put up the shield. I'll come when I can," said Sheppard even knowing that he would not be coming through the gate.

As he began working on infecting the computer with the virus he knew that he did not have long before guards swarmed his position. He had made sure that all who had come on this mission knew how to initiate the virus incase something happened to McKay, and as he raced to finish the sequence that would set off the virus he was gladder than he could say over that decision.

Once he pressed the equivalent for enter on the computer, he rapidly detached the data unit used to upload the virus and shot it to pieces to make sure there was no chance Bric'ien could reverse engineer a solution for the virus that was destroying all the information on the computer network at this facility.

Sheppard knew that there was not a chance that he could get to the gate before he was captured or killed, and he figured everyone would assume that was the direction he would head, so he hoped going away from the gave might throw them off, and give him a chance to find a more defensible location. Even though he knew this would not end well for him, there was no way he was going down without a fight.

As he sought to remember the layout of the building, he kept glancing down at the life signs detector to see if anyone was ahead of him or was following behind.

Far too soon for his liking, he saw that he was being followed by a bunch of guards and that there was more up in the passage in front of him. Sheppard knew that Bric'ien was trying to box him in, and was doing a pretty good job at it too. Bric'ien had guards at all the passages that led outside, and there were too many of them at each location for Sheppard to have a chance at getting out.

Sheppard realized as the guards closed in on his position that he no longer had the option of running and turned down a hall that dead-ended, which would at least ensure that no one could sneak up behind him.

Not that it was much of an advantage, considering that almost all the guards in the base were racing to converge on his position.

Quickly wiping his sweaty hands on his pants he again gripped his P-90 tightly in his hands, wishing that he could hold the P-90 steady and ready to shoot and the LSD in his hands. Instead he would have to rely on more primitive methods to know if anyone…or everyone was approaching his position.

As he kept his hearing closely attuned to his surroundings, so he would notice the slightest change and be alerted to approaching guards, he felt like laughing at the humor of the situation…'Sheppard's last stand'.

In all actuality, it was not too different from the ending he had always thought he would face; alone in an enemies facility that he had infiltrated as guards descended upon his position was exactly what he had expected ever since he had joined black ops. However, the location was definitely different. Instead of some Middle Eastern country on earth, he was in the Pegasus galaxy on a world with two moons. Although, at least he was facing humans, not, life-sucking vampires or tiny robots that formed look-alike ancients from some science fiction idea gone wrong.

Suddenly his rambling thoughts were interrupted as he felt a slight change in the air and smelt a faint odor of sweat.

He barely heard a sound, obviously these men were trained to go quietly, and they knew he had to be somewhere near. Of course they still didn't know his exact location, and he planned to use that advantage to the best of his ability.

Waiting a minute to let them get closer…he attacked jumping into the intersecting passage and gunning down with his P-90 the men who had crept up to his position. Three of them were dead instantly, and another two were injured, but a sixth man managed to help get them to safety as two others began firing at him from further back forcing Sheppard to retreat back into the hall.

Sheppard felt a slight thrill of victory that he had survived the first encounter even as he knew that they now knew his exact position.

He did not have long to wait before their new strategy was revealed. A canister was hurtled into the hall and on impact exploded releasing some type of gas. Sheppard took a deep breath of the still mostly clean air and held it as he dropped to the ground hoping that they would be hasty in coming after him, and he would still be conscious when they arrived allowing him to take out a few more of them.

A few minutes later just as his lungs began to demand oxygen and his vision began to gray at the edges, he saw some guards coming towards him. Before they could react to the fact he was not unconscious, he shot them driving them to the floor.

However, the recoil of the gun caused him to take an involuntary gasp of the air that was still heavy with the gas. Sheppard felt his grip slip on the P-90 and his head fall to the floor…and then he knew no more.

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To be continued…

A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated, both positive and negative.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Those of you who reviewed, thank you so much

Sheppard woke to feelings his arms yanked viciously behind his back and then bound tightly with rough ropes. The ropes dug into his skin and cut off circulation to his hands.

"He's waking up," a harsh voice called out.

"Good!" answered a voice equally harsh as Sheppard felt a sharp, painful kick to his stomach.

"I cannot tell you how happy Bric'ien is going to be when he knows that you are captured. He has desired to have some talks with you for quite some time." Sheppard looked blearily up at the source of the voice as he tried to catch his breath.

"And let me assure you he desires to speak with you even more after what you did today, in fact" he continued with a vicious smile, "many of us do".

The goons yanked Sheppard to his feet, but his legs were unsteady and he would have fallen if not for their ruthless grips on his arms. Before he could get his legs to cooperate and the corridor to stop spinning around him, so that he could walk on his own, the guards began moving him forward.

His feet kept catching on the uneven ground of the complex, so he kept being dragged instead of walking. It took Sheppard a few minutes to focus enough to realize that they were heading back towards the stargate, which meant they must be taking him to a different world, probably one the Atlantis expedition had never heard of before considering his current luck.

By the time they reached outside, Sheppard could finally walk on his own, and instead of tight bruising grips on his arms dragging him forward, it was the hard pressure of some sort of rifle being prodded against his back periodically that encouraged his forward momentum.

The gate was already dialed when they reached it, giving Sheppard no chance to see the gate address. He only hoped that McKay or Zelenka could work some of their magic and collect the last gate address dialed from the DHD, so that they could find out where he was taken.

As the rifle prodded Sheppard up the steps leading to the dais he almost tripped as his gaze took in the large amount of blood that he assumed must have been left there by McKay.

He swallowed hard and prayed to a God he barely believed in anymore that McKay would be alright. He glanced about himself looking for any way he could escape the guards and remain on the planet that his team…no his family…would look for him first. Yet, the stern faced guards that surrounded him and their weapons trained on his head, quickly silenced that notion.

He hesitated a moment before stepping through the event horizon, but a guard, impatient to get him through, shoved him forward causing him to be off balance when he came through the other side. Since his hands were still tied tightly behind his back, he found it difficult to catch his balance and almost took a nose dive.

"Ever thought of letting someone move on their own?" asked Sheppard as he glanced back at the man who had pushed him through. The guard simply smirked back at Sheppard as they stargate shut down. Sheppard glanced around him and was surprised to see that it was a barren wasteland. Any direction he looked for miles there was nothing. Yet, before he could come up with some smart ass remark that might get him information on where the outpost was…or a fair bit of pain from a guard who thought him nosy, a guard called out, "Alright, dial the next address."

'Of course,' thought Sheppard bitterly, 'they want to make it as difficult as possible for Atlantis to find me'. Now not only would they have to deduce the gate from the previous world, they would also have to figure out where he went from this world, and probably a few others they would take him too in the future. Sheppard felt the hope of his team finding him lessen and wished he could take out his frustration on a punching bag back at Atlantis…where he would be safe with his team.

Though, he did not regret in the slightest his decision to destroy the information on Bric'ien's computer. He knew that Atlantis was safe and it would take Bric'ien years to gather all the research he had previously collected to form the weapon, and hopefully before that time, Bric'ien could be taken out for good.

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Sheppard was pushed through a quick succession of gates, though he was forced to look away each time a new gate was dialed. Finally they stopped on a planet only lit by a thin crescent moon. A bitter wind was blowing and Sheppard shivered in the cold. The planet looked desolate with craggy mountains and only a few tough shrubs scattered across the landscape. It was a world that looked undesirable and uninhabitable; thus, a perfect place for Bric'ien to have a backup outpost.

Sheppard was shoved forward by a guard obviously ready to get out of the biting wind. For the next hour or so they moved in a seemingly random way, further from the stargate and into the hills. There did not even seem to be a goat's path, and Sheppard realized that Bric'ien was insuring that if someone came to this world they would assume it was deserted and leave before they discovered Bric'ien's hideout.

Due to the uneven ground, loose dirt, fast pace, and having his hands tied tightly behind his back, Sheppard often slipped and fell. The last time it happened he smacked his right knee against a rock as he fell and almost cried out in pain. He already had had a difficult time standing up again after each fall, since he could not use his hands to get up, and the guards form of help was either to glare at him and threaten him with their rifles, as if getting shot would help him stand, or kick him sharply in his stomach with their boots, which he had to admit definitely caused him to keep his time on the ground to a minimum.

Unfortunately, this time when he sought to stand up his right leg buckled under him and he found himself in the same position he had started from. He tried standing again quickly in hopes that the guards would not practice their fighting techniques on him again, but found that without the use of his hands and the sharp pain in his knee, he just could not stand at the moment on his own.

The guards, however, seemed to think he was just doing it for kicks and Sheppard felt the butt of a rifle impact against his shoulder and heard a harsh voice saying to get up. Sheppard gasped through the sudden pain and replied in anger, "It's not like I'm doing this on purpose! If you would just untie my hands than…I don't know…maybe I might be able to stand up!"

The guard apparently was unappreciative of Sheppard's idea and instead of freeing his hands; two guards hauled him to his feet. Sheppard stood glaring at the guard who seemed to be in charge of this little outfit as he tried to not put much of his weight on his leg.

The guard glared right back at Sheppard and then growled, "When I say get up, you get up!" He punctuated this by burying his fist into Sheppard's abdomen knocking the wind out of him.

Sheppard bent as far forward as the unrelenting grips on his arms allowed, and tried to catch his breath and recover from the pain the blow had unleashed. Before he had fully recovered, the guard, whom Sheppard decided to name George, called for them to start moving forward again. Sheppard probably would have fallen again if it wasn't for the fact that George probably thought that he could get to the warm outpost faster if he did not have to stop every ten minutes to pick up Sheppard. So, the guards on his sides held on to Sheppard dragging him onward.

It was not long after that, that a door was revealed leading into one of the hills. A person would not see the door until they were almost on top of it as the door was the same color as the hill and easily blended into it. The door was opened from the inside before the first guard reached it, so Sheppard figured they must have some type of surveillance of the entrance.

Sheppard was glad to get out of the cold wind and enter the heated bunker. Though he was less pleased at the idea of what he would face in said bunker, especially since he knew it would take them awhile even with McKay heading the research to find him…and he was not even sure if Rodney was alive.

'NO!' Sheppard told himself. 'There is no way I am giving up on Rodney. I will not believe he is dead until I see his rotting corpse. Besides someone who insists he is dying or about to die as much as Rodney always does, could not actually die any time soon. Irony would simply not let it happen.' Sheppard let himself show a slight smile at the thought, though it did not last long as he was taken further into the hill.

The place reminded him of the genii facility, he had been kept in when Koyla had a wraith feed on him, and that thought did nothing to relieve his apprehension. Sheppard struggled to keep his breathing under control, and ensure the guards did not know he was at all affected.

Finally, they entered a short hallway with cells lining one side. Though there were thick walls between the cells, they were shut off from the hallway itself only by prison bars. Probably to ensure that there was no privacy for the person within the cell, Sheppard thought grimly.

The cells were also uncomfortably similar to the Genii ones, though they were dissimilar enough to assure his mind this bunker had never been controlled by the Genii. All of the cells were empty Sheppard was thankful to notice as his thoughts kept racing back to his time with Koyla. Though with the help of Todd, he had managed to escape last time, he seriously did not want to experience the pain from a wraith feeding ever again. So, he was more than willing to forgo the idea of help from a fellow prisoner for the peace of mind he gathered from knowing there was not a wraith in the next cell over.

Sheppard was shoved into a large cell and with his knee crying out in pain was unable to recover his balance before he hit the ground. Two guards and George followed him into the cell, while another three waited outside with their guns trained on him. Sheppard thought it was a little overkill. Sure he might think of taking down four guards, but definitely not five or six…unless he had a weapon of course.

Sheppard was yanked to his knees by one of the guards while the other cut the ropes binding his wrists. Then without warning the guards began to roughly pull his jacket off of him, since back on the planet they had relieved him of his vest. As soon as the bare skin of his arms was exposed to the air of the cell he fully realized, though he had noticed before, that Bric'ien did not waste any energy on heating the cell area.

"Hey, it's kind of cold in here, so I'd really appreciate it if you let me keep my jacket, besides it really isn't your color."

George just laughed and then commanded the guards to confiscate Sheppard's boots and socks. "That isn't exactly what I had in mind" muttered Sheppard as his left boot and sock were harshly removed from his foot. When they went to do his right boot Sheppard could not help but give a small growl of pain as in their haste to remove the boot, they pulled on his already throbbing knee.

When they were done George had the two guards pull him to his feet, and then looked him squarely in the eyes. "I just want to give you a small taste of what you will be facing when Bric'ien arrives" said George. Then George slammed his fist into Sheppard's stomach. The guards holding Sheppard up prevented him from curling into a ball as George's fist came down again impacting with Sheppard's face. Sheppard looked up at him with fury in his eyes, but before he could find the words to articulate his disgust for the man, he once again found the fist brutally impacting with his face. This time as he tried to sink to the ground in pain the guards let him.

As Sheppard tried to focus his eyes George knelt down next to him and whispered, "Remember this is just the beginning." Following this statement, George led the other guards out of the cell area and then turned off the main lights in the area, so that the cell was only illuminated by a pale blue emergency light in the hall.

Sheppard trying to focus his thoughts past the throbbing in his head curled up in a ball to help preserve heat. 'Positive thinking, John' he told himself. 'That is what you need to do now. Remember your team will never give up looking for you, and some of the best minds of two galaxies are working on it.' He remembered all the other times his team and found him and smiled. "Yeah, they'll find me," Sheppard said aloud to himself, "they've _never_ failed before."

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To be continued…

A/N: Please review and tell me what you think. Is there any part you really liked or disliked? Let me know! I should be updating again in just a few days…


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you so much everyone who has reviewed. I really do appreciate it :D. Also, I want to thank Isobel Kelte for proofreading my story, though all mistakes that remain are mine. Lastly, Happy American Independence Day!

Sheppard had spent most of that night on the planet pacing his cell. His body was used to Atlantis Standard Time, and since it was only the afternoon there, he had not been tired enough to sleep. Besides, it was too cold to try to slumber. Instead, Sheppard paced the cell, rubbing his arms in a feeble attempt to stay warm. Every few moments his body would shiver violently and Sheppard could only hope that the nights on this planet were short and that the day would quickly bring warmth to his cell. However, he was uneasy about what else the new day would bring. More pain, probably, he thought to himself as his head throbbed.

Sheppard's mind wandered to when they had first encountered Bric'ien on a mission. It had been a simple mission to a planet with Ancient tech, but of course no mission with his team ever remained simple. They had arrived on the 'uninhabited' planet on a sunny morning, and began following the sensor readings to a power source that was making McKay drool. When they got to the outpost left behind by the Ancients, they discovered the world wasn't as uninhabited as they would have liked. It wasn't long before they had been captured.

They were gated to a different world by the ones who had captured them, and taken to a cell. A few hours later Sheppard was taken out to be questioned by the guy in charge, Bric'ien. Apparently, Bric'ien was a scientist/gang-lord or at least the Pegasus version of it. Sheppard discovered that Bric'ien was creating a biological weapon, he could use against other planets, so that he could steal their technology and resources. To Sheppard's horror, he also discovered that he was testing it on people he had collected from other worlds, including women and children.

Sheppard had felt sick at the thought, and had promised himself he would ensure that Bric'ien's plan failed and the other people on the world would be freed. Not that at the time he could do much about it. He was barely conscious when Bric'ien was done questioning him and had him dragged back to the cell. When he was fully aware he discovered that Bric'ien had separated his team from the other marines, and Sheppard was filled with worry over what was happening to them.

The next two days had passed in a sort of blur as Sheppard got to enjoy more of the wonderful hospitality of Bric'ien. Then Bric'ien decided to show Sheppard the biological weapon he had created. The delivery system was its vulnerability Sheppard discovered. Though Bric'ien could use the biological components to affect one person at a time, he needed a large ray like device to make it effective for his purposes.

Bric'ien had brought in one of the other prisoners, one who had been exposed to the weapon, and Sheppard had felt sick as he saw how the man's body had begun to deteriorate. Then Bric'ien explained that unless Sheppard gave him the necessary information he would use the weapon against the man's planet.

The man had broken down in tears, but had refused to beg for the lives of his family, friends, and people. Sheppard knew that he could not give away Atlantis, even to save another planet, but had felt something twist inside of him in desperation to do something. Bric'ien had realized that Sheppard would prefer to be tortured than risk the lives of others, even people he had never met.

Sheppard had refused to give away information on Atlantis, but had used any other thing he could think of to bargain with that would not hurt Atlantis and his team. Bric'ien had refused all that Sheppard offered him, but in a twist of fate, Sheppard still did not completely understand, the man whom Bric'ien had seemingly forgotten about had lunged out grabbed a rifle from a guard, and unleashed a barrage of bullets into the weapon. At least one of those bullets had hit something vital in the weapon and it exploded. Sheppard had been too close to the blast and had been knocked out by it.

He awoke to the man crouching down next to him shaking him awake. In the resulting chaos, from the weapon's destruction, Bric'ien had disappeared. Sheppard later discovered it was due to the fact that Bric'ien had known Atlantis had been looking for them and knew that Atlantis would now be able to pinpoint their location. When he was able to move again, Sheppard with the man's help managed to free his team, the rest of the marines, and all the other people Bric'ien had been experimenting on.

There was no sign of Bric'ien and most of his guards had disappeared as well. Sheppard led the mass exodus towards the gate, and along the way they were met by some rescue teams from Atlantis. Bric'ien, however, had realized that Atlantis would be there soon and had downloaded all his research and gotten out of there.

Sheppard was brought out of his thoughts as despite the cold he could no longer keep pacing. His knee was throbbing again and he was afraid if he did not sit down his leg would collapse under him while he was walking. Sheppard slowly lowered himself to the ground with his back against the cold wall. He wrapped his arms around his knees in a futile attempt to preserve the little body heat he had left.

Sheppard's mind kept going a mile a minute wondering what would happen to him in the new day, and what torture techniques Bric'ien would employ against him. So, to distract himself he began to do math equations in his head. He had always enjoyed math and he found that it often helped him to relax. Sheppard remembered McKay's face when he had first shown him that he knew something about math. It was right before he went off to rescue Sumner, Teyla, and the others who had been captured by the wraith on their first trip through the gate in the Pegasus galaxy. McKay had looked shocked to see a soldier who had any sort of intelligence and had been thrown for a loop. Sheppard could still remember his stumbling comeback and smiled quietly to himself.

Then there was the time on the planet with the brotherhood when McKay found out that Sheppard could have joined Mensa. Sheppard wasn't sure that McKay ever understood how someone could be smart enough to pass the test, but then would choose not to join.

Sheppard suddenly shivered violently, distracting himself from that train of thought. Instead of trying to remember what he had been thinking about, he began to do math equations again and hoped the night would soon be over and warmth would be brought with its end.

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Sheppard heard the sound of approaching feet and quickly stood up so that he could face whatever was coming head on. He guessed that it was late afternoon or early evening on the planet, but he had no way of knowing for sure. Though his body had finally desired sleep, Bric'ien's men had ensured that it received none. Every time he began to doze off a siren would turn on, wrenching him awake. Also, Sheppard's hunger and thirst were increasing; he had not felt like eating a large breakfast before he left Atlantis and had not eaten since, though several meals and passed. Yet, he doubted that whoever was coming towards his cell now had any intention of bringing him water or food.

George came in along with three other guards and stood before the bars of Sheppard's cell. He had a huge smile on his face that made Sheppard as uneasy as hell.

"Nice of you to stop by," Sheppard quipped with a smile. "I was almost beginning to think you forgot all about me."

"Turn around."

Sheppard's tentative idea of jumping the guards and grabbing a weapon was quickly dashed as one of the guards forced him to turn around and tied his wrists together behind his back.

Sheppard managed to only limp slightly as George led him to what Sheppard guessed was an interrogation room—or more accurately, a torture chamber.

He was made to sit in a hard metal chair with his hands tied down at his sides and his ankles shackled to the legs of the chair. Two of the guards stood behind his back where he was unable to see them, and Sheppard felt his body tighten in tension. George left the room, while the third guard stood at the door with his rifle pointed at Sheppard as if Sheppard with his wrists tied down at his sides and his legs attached to the chair could even think—well, attempt anyways—to escape.

The minutes crawled by and Sheppard wondered how long his body could remain this tense as he waited for some blow from a guard, or for Bric'ien or George to enter the room.

Finally, after what seemed like ages to Sheppard, the door to the room opened and Bric'ien entered followed by George.

Bric'ien had not changed much from how he looked when Sheppard first saw him: his eyes looked just as cold, calculating, and malicious as they had before. Though Sheppard had done a lot more to piss him off since then, and Sheppard knew that Bric'ien would take every opportunity to make him miserable.

"Sheppard, I have to say the events around your capture have given me mixed feelings. On one hand, you destroyed my weapon, all my research on it, forced me to abandon my research outpost, and are responsible for the injuries and deaths of many of my men." As he mentioned each accusation against Sheppard, one of the guards' fists impacted with some part of his body as if to punctuate the sentence.

"On the other hand," continued Bric'ien, "I can now make you pay for the damage and frustrations you have caused."

"Yeah, well, I left my credit card at home, so can we just leave it on my tab?"

Though Bric'ien did not understand the earth references, he certainly got the point Sheppard was making and gave a signal to one of the guards behind Sheppard.

Sheppard felt the impact of a heavy stick against his chest and the air rushed out of his lungs. He gave a small grunt then looked defiantly up at Bric'ien. "You could have just said no!"

Bric'ien smiled coldly at Sheppard, "I could have, but you would not have grasped my point completely: every time you say something I dislike you will experience pain."

"Maybe, but I usually prefer to not grasp the point as well and at least still be able to breathe."

"You cannot always have what you wish for, Sheppard: another point I hope to make abundantly clear to you."

"I don't know, Bric'ien, I wished your weapon and research would be destroyed and guess what--they were!" Even as Sheppard formed the sentence in his mind, he knew that he would pay dearly for that small act of insolence; he was not mistaken.

One of the guards slammed his fist into his face, while the other slammed the stick into his side with a resounding crack.

Sheppard blearily raised his eyes to Bric'ien as he gasped out, "You're probably right, though; I wished you were blown to smithereens and yet you're still here."

Sheppard knew it was not the cleverest thing to say, but it was all he could think of as his head pounded violently. McKay almost certainly would have told him that in that case he shouldn't say anything at all, especially when it got the two guards angry. It was a minute before an unperturbed Bric'ien ordered them to stop. Of course, by that point Sheppard knew he had to have at least two, if not three, cracked ribs, and had to spit out the blood that collected in his mouth from some vicious hits to his face. Still, Ronon would have told Sheppard that any act of defiance against his captor was a good idea, since it reminded you that you weren't broken yet.

As Sheppard sat back, breathing heavily, Bric'ien remarked, "After meeting you I have often wondered how you were raised and what type of family you had. What made you who you are today? Since I am a scientist I am sure you can understand my curiosity. What causes a man, I ask myself, to continually place himself in danger to help others, even people he knows nothing about? What makes this same man remain defiant even in the face of great pain? I have been especially curious since I learned from reliable sources that you are not even from this galaxy, but came from a world that had never even heard of the wraith. What kind of parents could such a man have? You are an enigma, Sheppard: one I long to break."

Throughout this little speech Sheppard tried to figure out what game Bric'ien was pulling. Yet, Sheppard could not grasp it, whether due to Bric'ien's level of craftiness or the level of pain in his head, he couldn't say; Sheppard concluded it was most likely a mixture of the two. He met Bric'ien's eyes head on and said with his usual nonchalance, "You do know that curiosity killed the cat, right?"

"However," continued Bric'ien, "I have a more pressing matter to attend to presently with you."

"Yeah? And what might that be? You interested in joining the U.S. Air force? Cause if you are, you should know they usually don't accept scumbags." To Sheppard's surprise he was not immediately dealt some sort of pain.

"The matter," Bric'ien responded, ignoring Sheppard's comments "is about the transmitter in your left arm."

"Transmitter? What transmitter? I think you've been watching to many science fiction television shows," was Sheppard's retort.

Bric'ien stepped forward and leaned in close to Sheppard; Sheppard fought the urge to lean back, but instead held himself steady and looked boldly at him.

"The one I am about to have cut out of you." Bric'ien stepped back and George stepped forward, unsheathing a knife from his belt.

"Hey…are you a surgeon? Cause I really would like to wait until I can have my doctor back at home check out your credentials."

"Trust me," smirked George as Sheppard tried to slow his increasingly fast breathing, "I am more than qualified for this."

"I'm sure you are."

Sheppard felt perspiration bead on his forehead as one of the guards undid his left arm and then pulled it straight with his palm facing upwards. Another guard held his upper arm, so that it was stretched out and Sheppard could not jerk his arm away. Bric'ien drew his anxious attention away from his arm as he said, "I did not have your transmitter removed when you first arrived on this planet for selfish reasons. I wanted to be here when it was done, you see."

"Well I personally was never too keen on medical documentaries; I always preferred to watch college football."

Sheppard tried to hold his arm steady; knowing that if he didn't it would probably hurt worse. He clenched his fists in preparation and hoped it would be over quickly. He decided to not look at the knife as it cut into his arm and he pressed his lips tightly together to keep in a cry of pain as the knife sliced through his skin uncovering the device that was suppose to help his team find him. Sweat ran down his face as George seemed to take an abnormally long time retrieving the transmitter.

Finally, George was done with his outpatient surgery, and the guards released his arm. Sheppard allowed his eyes to wander to view the new wound on his arm and watched in fascination as the blood flowed down it to form a small puddle on the floor.

"Sheppard, you really do have an amazing tolerance for pain," said Bric'ien as George had one of the other guards wrap a dirty piece of cloth around the wound to serve as a bandage, but Sheppard was sure that though it helped stench the bleeding, it also guaranteed infection. Sheppard was yanked from his thoughts when he heard George grind the transmitter into the ground, destroying it.

'Well' he thought to himself as he gazed at the smashed transmitter, 'that won't keep my team from finding me, though it probably will make it more difficult. But hey, McKay loves a challenge and I might as well give him one.'

Sheppard looked up from watching one of the guards secure his throbbing arm to the chair when Bric'ien spoke. "You know, it's always interesting to compare what you hear about someone and the actual person. You, your team, and the rest of the Atlantis expedition have left quite an impression on the people of this galaxy. Some people view you and your people as the ancestors. They think you have returned to destroy the wraith. Others think of you as nothing more than thieves who have laid claim to a city they have no right to. However, the opinions people have formed about you specifically I find even more intriguing. Many members of the Genii, for instance, look at you as a mass murderer. Apparently, killing in one minute sixty of their men will do that to a reputation. Of course, others think of you as invincible. They speak of your bravery and self-sacrifice, and yet I wonder what those people would think if they knew you were responsible for the wraith awakening?"

"You have a point to all this?" glared Sheppard as he pushed away the accusations Bric'ien was leveling at him.

"My point is that I would like to know the real Lt. Colonel John Sheppard."

"I don't know, Bric'ien," drawled Sheppard, "I haven't known you all that long and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that type of commitment."

"You may not be ready yet, Sheppard, but let me assure you by the time I am done with you, you will be ready."

"I doubt it," defied Sheppard.

Bric'ien turned away from Sheppard and spoke to the guards. "Make him stand up."

The guards undid his restraints and pulled Sheppard to the center of the room away from the chair and walls. He swayed slightly as he tried to keep his knee from buckling under him.

"Sheppard, tell me why did you not speak to your father or brother for over four years?"

Sheppard had only been paying partial attention to Bric'ien as he talked due to his horrendous headache, aching arm, throbbing knee, and difficulty in breathing, yet when Bric'ien said that Sheppard's gaze snapped up to look at him.

Bric'ien smiled cruelly, clearly pleased at how unbalanced the statement left Sheppard. "I know you are wondering how I know that, but let me assure you that it does not matter right now. What matters is why you did not return to your home until your father was dead."

Sheppard quickly sought to cover his shock and horror that Bric'ien knew something so personal about his life, but was unable to think of a glib response and had to settle for the truth. "I will never answer that question for you!"

"Very well," said Bric'ien with a bored expression, "I expected as much." He then turned to the guards and issued orders. "You may occasionally give him water to drink, but do not let him sit, rest, or eat, until he either answers that question or a new morning dawns. You may do whatever is necessary, within reason, to keep him awake and on his feet. Oh, and Sheppard, dawn does not come to this planet for another ten hours."

Bric'ien and George left the room after that while one of the guards roughly tied Sheppard's arms behind his back causing his arm to bleed again under the 'bandage'.

Sheppard estimated he had been awake for over twenty-four hours and desperately wished he could lie down, even for just a moment, to help ease the pain in his knee and head. But, Sheppard knew there was no way he would tell Bric'ien the answer to his question. He had never even told his surrogate family on Atlantis about it. Also, Sheppard knew that he would not be able to give a false reason for why he had not talked with his dad for so long. The pain of losing him without getting to say goodbye was too fresh for him to bear the idea of making something up. Even if it meant having to face pain and misery, Sheppard felt that it was one way he could honor his father. Besides, Sheppard knew that even if he told Bric'ien the truth he would simply find another reason to torture him. The entire point of all of this was revenge after all.

Sheppard shifted his feet, trying to relieve some of the pressure on his knee as his mind wandered to what Bric'ien was doing.

Sheppard had known that Bric'ien was after revenge and he knew that Bric'ien was clever and malicious enough to not settle simply for physical pain. Though he was extremely proficient at it, Sheppard's body reminded him as his leg almost buckled under him. 'No,' Sheppard thought, 'Bric'ien wants me to experience mental anguish as well.'

Sighing Sheppard realized that Bric'ien was doing a pretty good job of it too. First, Bric'ien knowing that much about Sheppard's personal life was just plain repulsive and made Sheppard feel sick. He didn't even talk to his closest friends about it, and yet somehow Bric'ien knew about it, which brought up another point. How did Bric'ien find out? Sheppard figured that the most likely explanation was that there was some sort of spy or traitor on Atlantis giving Bric'ien information. As Sheppard thought back to all the attacks on his teams by Bric'ien's men lately, it made perfect sense. Each of those missions had had no reason for the team to come in contact with Bric'ien, and yet they had. Still, there were few enough missions that were attacked to ensure that no one would suspect a traitor was in their midst, just the sort of plan Bric'ien would manage.

A worse thought, though, was that the spy was still on Atlantis, and no one there was even considering the idea of there being a traitor amongst them. The only reason Sheppard knew it was through Bric'ien himself, and Sheppard could do nothing about it. Instead, he was captured by a man who wanted to hurt him as much as possible; a man who had found a unique and effective way of doing it apparently.

Bric'ien knew that Sheppard would never betray Atlantis and give up any codes or vital information, so instead he found something that no one would blame Sheppard for speaking about. If he told Bric'ien what he wanted to know about his past and family it would put no one in danger, and yet Sheppard couldn't. The idea of telling Bric'ien what had transpired in his family to separate them felt like a betrayal. He definitely would rather face the pain Bric'ien was dishing out than let him know anything more than he already knew about Sheppard's life, and Bric'ien knew that.

Bric'ien was the worst type of enemy to have. He was intelligent; not McKay intelligent, more evil, malicious, subtle, devious, 'let me study every aspect of my enemy to find their greatest weaknesses and exploit it' intelligent. Thus, he put Sheppard in a position were he was stuck arguing with himself over the benefits of honoring his father in the only way he felt he still could, or giving Bric'ien what he wanted to hear in the hope it would satisfy him enough that Sheppard would keep up his strength until he either escaped or his team rescued him.

At this point, honoring his father definitely won out, so Sheppard continued to stand on his throbbing knee as guards watched him closely to see if he faltered at all.

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To be continued…

A/N: Please review and any specific information you can give me on what you think I did right or you think I did wrong, I would greatly appreciate it. :D


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! I hope everyone had a great 4th of July! I want to thank Isobel Kelte for proofreading the story, though it should be noted, all remaining mistakes are my own.

Sheppard had managed to stand without much trouble for the first six hours or so. Though he had stumbled he had only actually fallen twice, which considering the condition of his knee, he thought was pretty good. Every once in awhile a guard seemed to feel the need to ensure he was still awake by hitting him, usually with the stick, but most of the time he was left in relative peace.

However, after six hours of standing in one place his body screamed at him, and he felt ready to drop in exhaustion. His knee seemed to agree with his body and Sheppard felt it give out under him and he collapsed to the ground. He tried to push himself up from the ground before the guards attacked him, but his body had had enough of the abuse and refused to cooperate.

The guards were on him in a moment and Sheppard felt a boot impact sharply with his stomach. He tried to curl up to protect his middle, but then the stick impacted with his lower back causing him to arch it.

"Get up now!" demanded a guard.

Sheppard tried again but just was not able to manage it. He braced his body for the assault he was sure to come. This time a foot connected with his arm were his transmitter had been and Sheppard bit his lip to hold in a scream of pain.

Two guards pulled him up by his upper arms, but he was unable to remain standing on his own and was deadweight in their hands. It was obvious to both Sheppard and the guards that he would not be standing on his own for the next four hours; exhaustion and injuries taking their toll on him.

The guards spent a moment conferring together and deciding on a plan of action. They chose to untie his hands and then put them in shackles attached to a chain that hung from the ceiling. They adjusted the chain so his arms were stretched above his head and his feet barely rested on the ground.

"This way you will be on your feet and won't have to worry about falling," the guard grinned evilly, "of course, I have heard it can be hard on your shoulders."

Sheppard was too tired to come up with a sarcastic comment to that understatement as his shoulders began to burn with the pain of holding him upright. To distract himself from the pain of his miserable situation and to prevent himself from contemplating everything that had occurred between him, his father, and his brother Dave, he decided to recount various successful missions with his team. Like the time on M7G-677 where the kids lived. Not only did they make it out alive and unharmed, but they stopped the vicious cycle of suicides that took place on the planet. Plus, Sheppard would never forget how funny it was how McKay dealt with the children there. It was a perfect example of how not to work with kids. Though Sheppard had to admit, a few of the kids ended up getting along with the prickly scientist and though McKay would never admit it, Sheppard knew that he came to like them as well.

Then there was the time McKay gained super powers from a device made to help Ancients ascend. Sheppard smiled as he thought about what it would be like if McKay had been able to continue having the powers. Even though he knew she would say no, Sheppard had even asked Weir after the whole fiasco if he could try it out. He figured it was a worth a shot, though as expected she gave him a look that said either, "Are you serious?" or, "You are an idiot!" before promptly saying no. Sheppard tried to not dwell on what he would do if he had those super powers right now; it was too infuriating when currently he could do nothing.

Realizing this line of thought was not helping, he decided to remember the first time he saw Ronon and Rodney sparring together. Sheppard fought back a laugh at the memory of Rodney in a white karate outfit with a yellow belt around his waist strapping a black pad to his chest.

It had been a pleasant surprise for Sheppard when Ronon and Rodney began to be not just team members, but friends. Sheppard had honestly not been sure it would ever happen, and yet it had. Sheppard almost laughed as he thought about how far Ronon had come at getting along with anyone, since he had first met him. He went from holding Teyla and himself captive to being one of Sheppard's closest friends, even going to earth with Sheppard for his father's funeral.

Sheppard felt a bit better as he thought about Ronon, Rodney, and Teyla--not to mention the rest of the people on Atlantis--doing all they could to find and rescue him. Sheppard just hoped his body would last until they came.

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The last hour before dawn is always the darkest, and in Sheppard's case, the most miserable. His shoulders were numb from supporting his weight, yet if he moved them the slightest bit, it would ignite into a fiery agony. Also, his eyes felt like lead and kept shutting of their own volition. As much as Sheppard tried to stay awake he kept drifting away, which caused the guards to do something to keep him awake every few minutes: tossing freezing water into his face being their present favorite.

Though the room was considerably warmer than his cell Sheppard had begun to shiver violently as his shirt became soaked with water. Yet, even that was not doing much to keep Sheppard awake. His world had shrunk to include only cold, pain, exhaustion, and misery. He didn't even remember the reason why he was experiencing this torture. Every time he tried to recall all he got was there was some sort of…question; one he knew he couldn't answer.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity to Sheppard, the door to the room opened and George stepped in. Sheppard was barely able to focus on him with his blurry eyes, but managed to catch most of what he was saying. "…Lasted the night, Sheppard. Congratulations! Enjoy your rest while you have it, because we will be spending more time together soon."

It took such an effort for Sheppard to comprehend what George was saying that he did not realize the guards had released his hands from the restraints until he collapsed to the hard floor This awoke pain from all his injuries, which had increased in number throughout the night as the guards made sure he got no rest.

He was dragged from the room by the guards and was unable to even make a show of walking. Sheppard was then tossed into the cell and was asleep before the cell door was even closed.

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Sheppard startled awake, his body forgetting that at least for now, it was okay to sleep and rest. He knew that he had gotten a few good hours of sleep, because he felt marginally better, so he decided to take stock of his physical condition.

His clothes were only slightly damp from the previous night, but Sheppard continued to shiver from the cold. Though it was not as bad as it could have been, he figured. The cell had heated up quite a bit; either from the warmth that came with day or Bric'ien had turned on the heat in the cell to make sure that Sheppard didn't die from hypothermia.

Sheppard's left arm throbbed and Sheppard saw that the 'bandage' was soaked with dry blood. He was sore all over and found himself breathing shallowly to prevent the pain that came from breathing with cracked ribs. His knee was swollen and Sheppard had no interest in seeing what it would feel to walk on. His left eye was practically swollen shut and when he put his hand to his head where it felt like a high school band was practicing badly, he felt dry matted blood.

Still, he reminded himself, it could be a lot worse. He felt semi-functional, alert, and was ready to plan and execute an escape attempt. He scanned the room for items he could use and saw that the guards had left a small bowl with water in it. He eagerly crawled towards it dragging his right leg behind as carefully as he could. Though he had been given water a few times yesterday, it had always been in small amounts: never enough to quench his thirst.

He carefully brought the bowl to his lips and slowly drank all that was in it. It soothed his parched throat, though once again, it did almost nothing to quench his unending desire for liquid.

When he was done he examined the wooden bowl for possible uses, besides the obvious use of a bowl. It was hard, thick wood, and Sheppard figured it could knock someone out if there was enough force behind the blow. He decided that he should act like he was too weak and injured to really walk or move, let alone put up any type of fight, since that method had worked when he had escaped from Koyla with Todd. Of course, he chose not to think how his first attempt to escape from Koyla panned out.

He positioned himself against the back wall of his cell with the bowl held seemingly loosely in his right hand. He decided he should rest and gather his strength for when they returned to get him and he would make his move.

It was almost two hours later when Sheppard heard the sound of approaching feet. He fought to maintain the air of an exhausted and beaten prisoner and lay motionless as they stopped before his cell. He glanced up at them trying to let all the exhaustion and pain he felt show.

George signaled for Sheppard to get up as one of the guards opened the door. Sheppard rose slowly using the wall for balance and support; trying to lull the guards into a false sense of security. The bowl looked as if it was simply forgotten in his hand as he began to slowly, painstakingly limp towards the guards.

Sheppard could tell that it was working as the guards were not standing as alert as they had previously. There guns were held at their sides, instead of being pointed at his head. Apparently, they thought the torture that had been dished out on him already was enough to wear him down.

'Not yet' Sheppard thought to himself as he limped slowly through the cell door. As one guard turned to shut the door, Sheppard pretended to stumble placing him closer to the other guard and then…he lashed out, ramming the bowl into the guards head with his right hand as he yanked the gun from the guard's suddenly limp hands. He turned quickly to shoot George, but his right knee almost buckled, throwing him off balance; instead of piercing his heart as Sheppard had planned, it grazed George's left arm. Sheppard went to shoot him again but was distracted by the guard who had shut the door moving into attack. He was too close for Sheppard to get a shot off, so instead Sheppard swung the weapon hard into the guard's jaw, knocking him back into the cell bars hard. Yet before Sheppard could turn to attack George again he felt a brutal blow to his back and collapsed to the ground, rolling over to stare at George standing over him with a heavy gun clasped in his hands. 'Well, at least...' Sheppard thought with a grimace as he saw George's foot racing towards his head, '...I showed them I wasn't worn down yet.'

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To be continued…

A/N: I hope all of you are still enjoying my story. If you are please let me know by reviewing. If you aren't let me know what I'm doing wrong. Thanks so much for reading :D


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I want to send a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed!! Also, I want to thank Isobel Kelte for being my beta. All remaining mistakes are mine…

Sheppard awoke to feeling his arms being stretched out above his head and to the side, so that all his previous bruises stretched uncomfortably. Guards were tying his wrists tightly to the bars of his cell and when they were done his feet barely touched the ground, putting an incredible amount of pressure on his already sore shoulders. The ropes cut into the flesh of his mutilated wrists as well, and Sheppard felt a few drops of blood run down his arms.

Sheppard became aware of the fact that Bric'ien was also in the room when he said, "Well, that was a foolish endeavor and shall ultimately cause you a fair bit of pain."

Sheppard tried to twist his aching head to look at Bric'ien. Finally, he caught a glimpse of him and noticed that George was standing beside him with a bandage wrapped around his upper left arm. Sheppard's eyes widened as he saw a long thick leather whip with two meticulously frayed strips fanning out from it resting in his hands.

"Sheppard, so far I had not brought this whip out, because I wanted to show you how reasonable we can be; but you have just done something completely unreasonable. I am afraid I must teach you a lesson about trying to escape or attacking me or my men. For attempting escape I am going to have you be given five lashes, then for every one of my men you attacked five lashes, bringing us to a total of twenty lashes."

Sheppard swallowed the bile in his throat as he saw the malicious pleasure in George's face. Sheppard knew that it was pay back time for the gunshot wound and felt his body already tensing for what he knew was coming.

Moving slowly forward towards Sheppard another guard began slicing Sheppard's shirt. "There is no reason for you to have this get sliced up by the whip; I would hate to have it get in the way of your lesson," he said as he finished ripping it off of Sheppard, leaving his bare back exposed.

"You know," Sheppard said, swallowing, "there is a draft in here and I sort of liked that shirt."

"I'm afraid it cannot be helped now," said the voice with an evil smirk.

"Are you sure this is the best way for me to learn the lesson? Are you sure that you don't have a book or something I could read instead?"

Bric'ien chuckled quietly. "Always joking, Sheppard; however, this is serious. You must be taught the futility of escape and the consequences of attempts."

Turning away from Sheppard Bric'ien turned to George. "You may begin whenever you are ready. If you begin to tire making the blows not as hard as this punishment deserves, stop so that we can ensure that each lash is exquisitely painful. Also, I shall allow you two extra lashes to ensure that you have the correct technique and because I know you want to repay Sheppard for that wound."

George grinned maliciously at Sheppard and then glanced at his arm where Sheppard had hit him. Sheppard swallowed, knowing that he was about to pay for the pain and frustration he had caused that man. His muscles tensed and he found himself clenching his hands around the bars of his cell to which he was tied.

As much as Sheppard tried to prepare himself, the first strike felt like a bolt of fire and his breath left him in a gasp. George laughed quietly and asked, "So how did that feel? Trust me, that is nothing to what the later strikes will feel like."

George sought to prove his statement, and Sheppard felt the whip jolt against his back again. George was right; it was worse the second time as the whip crisscrossed the lacerations already on his back.

"Now we will begin!" Bric'ien said with an evil laugh.

Sheppard tried to hold in a groan as he realized that despite all the pain he was already in the punishment had not even begun yet. They were still planning on giving him twenty more lashes with the whip.

The next strike was harder than the previous two and curled around Sheppard back to reach his chest. "One."

"Remember, Sheppard, you brought this upon yourself and you deserve every bit of it," murmured Bric'ien.

Another lash attacked Sheppard's throbbing back with a burst of fire. "Two."

"Isn't that right, Sheppard? You deserve this?"

"Three."

"Answer, Sheppard, or I will add another lash!" demanded the evil voice that Sheppard could barely focus on as his body tensed for another painful blow.

"No, it is…not my…fault…" panted Sheppard, "It is…the fault…of the evil bastard…who captured me…"

"Oh no, Sheppard, it was your fault, and since you feel you should lie to me about this I believe I still need to add another lash."

Turning to George, he said, "You are at three again."

George smiled and then struck Sheppard's back again, saying, "Three."

Sheppard bit his lip to hold in a cry of pain and wished it all over; yet knew that it was not even close to being done. The sadistic bastard would make sure that it brought Sheppard to the limits of his strength…in fact; Sheppard was beginning to wonder if he might just be pushed past his limits.

Again George struck out, causing more bloody lines to appear on Sheppard's back. "Four."

"I need to make sure you learn your lesson, Sheppard. Tell me, why are you being whipped?"

"Five."

"Cause…I've been…captured by an…evil bastard…who needs to…get a life?"

"I'm afraid that is not the correct answer. Sheppard, this is entirely your fault and I need you to admit it."

"Six."

Sheppard's grip tightened on the bars and his breath came in quick gasps as he tensed for the next blow.

"Seven." The blow was even harder than the previous ones and Sheppard felt the whip wrap around his chest.

"I said admit it! Either tell me what each lash is for or I will add five more lashes!"

Sheppard considered not answering, but figured he should choose his battles. "Five lashes…were for…trying to escape…"

The next blow caught Sheppard by surprise and he let out a breathless gasp as George said, "Eight."

"And the other lashes?"

"They were…for attacking…your men…"

"Nine." Another lash of fire swept across Sheppard's back and Sheppard had to bite back a groan of agony. Then, giving him no chance to recover, the whip cracked again and came in contact with his back.

"Ten." The pain had intensified with every lash, but Sheppard realized that the strength behind the last gut-wrenching stroke was not as powerful as the previous ones had been. Apparently Bric'ien noticed this as well.

"Stop." Bric'ien told George. "That last stroke was not up to the strength deserved in this punishment. Rest your arm and we will continue when you are able to give Sheppard every bit of pain he deserves."

Then Bric'ien turned to Sheppard, who was resting his face against the bars of his cell trying to catch his breath. "I'm afraid that last stroke will not count towards the twenty lashes. We will have to start at ten again."

Sheppard just panted, ignoring Bric'ien as much as he could. He took stock of his current condition and realized that he was a lot worse off than he could wish. For one he knew that it was only the ropes that were digging into his mangled wrists that were keeping him vertical. For another he knew that his right shoulder was suffering from being jerked around by the whip and was at least strained, though he was glad to note that it was not dislocated. His back throbbed in time with the beating of his heart and Sheppard felt blood drip down his back.

Suddenly Sheppard felt a sharp pain and let out a gasp. Bric'ien was pressing his hand into one of the lacerations on Sheppard's upper back. "I don't think you are paying attention to me, Sheppard."

"Sorry…I was trying…to recover…from…having my…back flayed…open…"

"Yes, well, try to pay attention to me when I am talking, because otherwise I will have to use less than pleasant methods to get your attention." As Bric'ien said that he again pressed down on one of the wounds on Sheppard's back.

"Ever thought…of just…leaving someone…to their misery…for a bit?" Sheppard muttered to Bric'ien as he struggled to not cry out in pain.

"Sheppard, I know that you chose not to answer my question yesterday about why you and your father had not talked for years. Perhaps, you will answer this question instead. Why did you not talk with your brother, Dave, or was it David, for all those years?"

Sheppard's mind began to race as he tried to figure out how Bric'ien knew that Sheppard called his brother Dave, but that Dave introduced himself as David, now. Though Sheppard knew there was a spy on Atlantis from their previous conversation, the fact that his dad had just died, and he hadn't talked with him in years would not have been too difficult for anyone to deduce. However, Sheppard was unable to figure out how anyone on Atlantis, except for maybe Ronon, could have figured out such a specific detail about his brother.

"Sheppard, did you hear me? Why did you not talk with your brother?"

Sheppard brought his focus back to the conversation and tried to think of how he could answer that question without really answering it. His not talking with his brother was in many ways more complicated than his not talking with his dad, and though Sheppard and Dave and begun to slowly make amends and bridge the gap that had formed between them, it was far from there yet. Too many years of unspoken words allowed them to build up resentment between each other that would take time to break down: time Sheppard now realized he might not have.

"Well it's…a common…story, really…two brothers…fall in love…with the…same girl…fight over…her and…then don't…speak…for years… Happens all…the time…on earth…"

Sheppard could see that Bric'ien did not believe him, but that he was not going to make an issue of it, at least for right now. He turned away to talk to George and the other guard in the room.

For the next twenty minutes as George rested his arm, Sheppard was left relatively alone. He was unable to focus on his surroundings as all his attention seemed to be stuck on the incredible pain he felt all over his body.

Then without warning, Sheppard felt the whip strike his back with an incredible amount of force. Sheppard, unable to prepare for the stroke, was unable to contain a small cry of pain as he felt the scabs that had formed on his back be ripped off by the leather straps.

Laughing, George said, "Ten."

Again Sheppard heard the whistling of the whip as it raced through the air to land against his back. The blow awakened the fire that had slowly died to an ember of pain.

"Eleven."

Bric'ien, clearly enjoying the pain Sheppard was in, said to him, "You know, if you had not gone back to destroy all of my research, you would not have ended up in my hands; so really all the pain you experience here is your fault."

"That…is…a…load…of…crap…"

"Twelve."

"Furthermore, considering all the people you have killed over the years do you really think that you do not deserve pain?"

"What…about…the…people…you…killed? ...What…about…the…pain…you…deserve...?"

The next strike was even more powerful than the previous ones, and Sheppard bit his lip to prevent his scream of pain.

"Thirteen!"

"You are the reason the wraith awakened early. It is because of your 'Atlantis Expedition' that Michael and his hybrids exist to torment all they come across. You did not even care enough about your family to speak with your dad before he died. Yet, you believe that I deserve pain more than you?"

"Fourteen."

"Well…at…least…I…don't…test…biological…weapons…on…kids…or…torture…people…"

"Come, Sheppard, this is a punishment, not torture, and anyone can be pleased when they are teaching someone a lesson that is drastically important for that person to learn. Remember, I am doing all of this for your benefit."

"I…doubt…that…"

"Fifteen."

This lash caused Sheppard's knees to finally buckle, refusing to hold his weight anymore as Sheppard's strength was all but gone. He cried out as his shoulders suddenly were forced to support all of his weight.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sheppard, are you tired? It is too bad that you still have five more lashes of your punishment left." Then Bric'ien turned his gaze back towards George. "Continue the punishment."

The goon, clearly pleased by this instruction, quickly brought his arm back and lashed Sheppard's back.

"Sixteen."

Sheppard slowly sought to stand straight again to relieve some of the pressure on his shoulders, but as soon as he managed to stand up the whip cracked in the air again and the blow made his legs crumple underneath him.

"Seventeen."

Breathing heavily, Sheppard tensed for the next strike, unable to pull himself up again. However, the strike did not come right away; he struggled to turn his head and saw that George was handing Bric'ien the whip that dripped with his blood.

"I always like to give the last part of any lesson personally, Sheppard, and in your case I desire to do so more than in most. I want you to realize the mercy I give by not giving every blow of the whip myself."

Sheppard tried to swallow as his muscles tensed up. He felt some sweat drip off his forehead and he tried to catch his breath. He wanted to make some smart ass comment that would show Bric'ien that he was not afraid, but nothing came to mind as he felt his back throb in pain. Slowly he got his feet under him and stood as straight as he could; doing the only thing he could think of to show Bric'ien he was not broken yet.

"You certainly have courage, Sheppard. Most men would have given up by now, yet here you are still trying to be defiant. Now, I would like you to apologize to my guard over here for the gunshot wound you gave him."

"…What…about…the…bruises…he…gave…me…? ...Make…him…say…sorry…first…?"

The answer was swiftly given in the form of a powerful lash that was worse than anything that had come before. Bric'ien had not been kidding when he implied that he caused more pain with the whip than the other guards. The force behind the blow alone was enough to make Sheppard gasp in pain. However, Bric'ien had also skillfully caused the whip to mark as much of Sheppard's skin as possible, the main strap even wrapping around his stomach. Each strip of the whip fanned out and cut into Sheppard's skin or deepened the previous lashes with vicious force and Sheppard felt tears form in his eyes from the pain of it all.

"Eighteen," said Bric'ien an almost bored voice as if he hadn't just caused another human being immense pain. "Now, why do we not try this again…hmmm? Apologize to him immediately!"

"…Sorry…" panted Sheppard, unable to catch his breath.

"For what?"

"…For…attacking…him…"

"Good," said Bric'ien right before he brought down the whip again. It felt as if Sheppard's entire back was on fire as once again Bric'ien managed to spread the straps of the whip out to cause the most amount of damage and pain. This time, in fact, one of the thinner lashes wrapped itself tightly several times around his upper right arm before it was yanked free, leaving several bloody lines.

"Nineteen."

"Are there any other things you are sorry for, Sheppard?"

Unable to hold his weight up anymore and resting all his weight on his shoulders, Sheppard seriously considered just telling Bric'ien were to stick his words. Yet, he reminded himself, he needed to choose his battles and making Bric'ien even madder at him would only cause him more pain and weaken him further.

"…I'm…sorry…for…attacking…the…other…men…"

"And?"

"…For…trying…to…escape…"

"Excellent," said Bric'ien as he once again brought the whip down upon Sheppard's' back. Sheppard could barely take in the pain this time, yet he just reminded himself that it was over. That was the end of his punishment. Sheppard felt his muscles slowly begin to unwind and he felt some of the tension leave his body even as he became more aware of the pain.

Then suddenly without warning he felt another explosion of pain on his back. Bric'ien had used the whip again on Sheppard and this time he could not hold back a cry of agony. Unable to push away the encroaching darkness any longer, he slipped into blessed oblivion.

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To be continued…

A/N: Please review! I am sort of nervous about this chapter, so if you liked it please let me know!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews. I really appreciated it! I also want to thank Isobel Kelte for being my beta and her encouragement. Sorry this wasn't up sooner, you can blame real life :P

Sheppard awoke to find himself sprawled on his stomach on the concrete floor of his cell. His back felt as if it was on fire, as did his left arm were the transmitter had been cut out, but the rest of him was cold. Sheppard figured that infection had to have set in on his arm, and his back with all the open cuts would follow soon enough. He couldn't tell for sure if he had a fever, yet he thought it probable. Bric'ien had been brutal in his punishment and for the first time Sheppard allowed himself to truly contemplate the extremely likely chance he would not still be alive when his team arrived.

He wondered how his team and the other people of Atlantis would take the news. He knew his team would take it hard; they were family, after all. Lorne wouldn't be happy about being in charge until they found a replacement. Though Sheppard knew he would do a fine job, since whenever Sheppard was out of commission he did great. Sheppard figured that many of the marines would miss him, though he knew there were a few marines who had come on the Deadalus who had been definitely wary of him as their CO. Sheppard was pretty sure that they disagreed with a lot of the decisions he had made on his time on Atlantis. He had hoped to be able to have time to win them over, but it looked like he would never get the chance.

Sheppard wondered most of all, however, about how Dave would take the news. They had begun emailing each other; each message full of stilted communication with important issues hinted at, but never openly discussed. Sheppard wondered if he would regret, like he did, that they had never fully had the conversation about what had happened in the family to separate them for so long. In fact, except for the one line Dave had said about Dad regretting what had happened nothing had been said. When he had talked with Dave before going back to Atlantis it had seemed to sore of a subject and neither of them had wanted to bring it up. Yet, John hadn't wanted to have either him or Dave die before they had fixed it up. Sadly, it looked like there was going to be another funeral with unspoken questions hanging in the air.

Sheppard sighed as he remembered that Dave had mentioned in his email that his fiancée Sydney hoped to meet him if he could head out there on one of his leaves. She had been unable to make it to the funeral until after Sheppard had left. Sheppard wished that he had gotten to meet her as well; from the things Dave said about her, she sounded a lot like their mother. Sheppard shook his head as if to clear his mind from this line of thoughts, not wanting to bring up the pain of losing her as well and decided to try to fall asleep.

His sleep, however, was restless, as he kept having nightmares with some of the worst events in his life all jumbled together. Finally, near the end of the night, he slept peacefully for a few hours until he woke coughing. Each cough caused his chest to explode in pain and he wished he had something cool to drink to ease the pain in his throat. Sheppard was not the slightest bit surprised to realize he was sick. It had been another cold night and this time not only did he not have the little bit of warmth provided by his shirt, and his back hurt too much for him to huddle up to retain heat as he had done previously. Instead, he had remained flat on his stomach on the concrete trying not to move, so the throbbing pain from his back would not increase.

Sheppard almost laughed bitterly to himself as he realized that Bric'ien's method of punishment was quite effective in preventing possible escape attempts. The pain and loss of blood made him feel too tired to sit up, let alone start a fight. Though, he had not had any food since he left Atlantis, and he supposed that also might have something to do with the overwhelming weakness he felt.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the guards approaching. Sheppard was almost positive that it was earlier than the previous times they had come for him. He wanted to stand up to face them, but all he managed was to sit up, which he actually felt was quite an accomplishment.

"Hey, I didn't expect you so soon," Sheppard quipped. "If I had known you would be coming I would've cleaned the place up." The effect of his comments was minimized, however, when after the long sentences he broke down coughing. He was so caught up in trying to breathe that he was unaware of two of the guards grabbing his upper shoulders and dragging him out of the cell.

It wasn't long before Sheppard found himself sitting in a chair with his hands tied at his sides and his ankles shackled to the legs of the chairs. He leaned forward some to prevent his torn back from coming in contact with the chair.

He coughed a little and then looked around, wondering were Bric'ien was.

"He's not here," George said when he saw Sheppard's questioning look.

"Well, we don't want to start this part without him, do we?" responded Sheppard as he tried to cover his apprehension at why George had brought him here. It was obvious that Bric'ien was not going to be questioning him at the moment.

At his silence, Sheppard continued, "So…why do you want to talk with me? Were you just starved for intelligent conversation? Of course, I'm afraid that intelligent conversation requires two people, and of the two of us I'm the only one can provide it."

"I want to make you suffer," George responded and promptly followed this statement by a punch to Sheppard's abdomen.

"…W...what...makes me…so special?" he whispered back as he tried to catch his breath.

"How about all the men you killed at the base, the ones you injured, shooting me, not to mention all the trouble you have caused destroying the weapon and the data attached to it."

Sheppard realized just before another blow landed on his chest that George wanted his own revenge against him. He was not satisfied with the pain Bric'ien was dealing out, and wanted to personally get his revenge against Sheppard. 'Lucky me,' thought Sheppard, just before he felt another blow to his chest. He wanted to scream in pain as not only did it impact an already bruised area, but it also knocked his tender back against the chair.

"Sheppard, you killed men I had trained personally: men I called friends."

"Y…Yeah," replied Sheppard as he tried to catch his breath. "M…Maybe…you…should…g…get…friends…th...that...aren't…in…league…w…with an…evil…scientist…"

"If you do not like pain, Sheppard, then maybe you should not infiltrate secret research facilities and destroy research there. Of course, it looks like you will never have a chance to rectify that mistake, will you?"

"…Well…if…s…someone…like…m…me…k…knows…about…it…is…it…r…really…secret?"

George's answer was a swift blow to Sheppard's upper arm were it had been cut yesterday by the whip.

Sheppard gasped in pain, then quipped, "…Seriously…if…if…you...d…don't…w…want…the…base…infil…infiltrated…d…don't…let…p…people…li…like…me…f…find…out…a…about…it."

"Well, when Bric'ien kills you later, I suppose you will be one less person we will have to worry about finding out about our secret bases."

"…Y…Yeah…but…wh…when…I'm…d…dead…who…w…will…you…get…to…torture?"

"True, but it has been sweet while it has lasted." Then George slammed his fist into Sheppard's head so hard that his head rammed into the back of the chair and he lost consciousness.

Sheppard was unsure how much time had passed when he awoke, yet he could tell it was at least a couple of hours later. He knew that if he hadn't had a concussion before he most certainly did now, and had to fight down his rising nausea.

He raised his eyes and tried to focus on the people in front of him as they spun and blurred. Finally, he was able to discern that the eight men in front of him were actually Bric'ien, George, and two guards behind them.

"Oh, you are with us again, Sheppard! That is nice of you," commented Bric'ien.

"…Well, you know me," replied Sheppard in rasping voice, "always trying to please."

"You sound like you need some water, Sheppard." Bric'ien nodded towards a guard, who brought a bowl of water to Sheppard's lips. Sheppard drank slowly, enjoying the feel of the liquid as it traveled down his sore throat. He tried to drink it nonchalantly, instead of like a man dying of thirst, but was unsure at how well he managed it. When he was done he tried to breathe deeply through the increased nausea from having water on an empty stomach, but discovered his cracked ribs protested such motion.

"So, Sheppard, tell me about your family. What do you think of the fact your brother is getting married? I believe her name is Sydney?"

Sheppard was having a lot of trouble concentrating on what was being said, so it took him a moment to comprehend what Bric'ien just asked him. When he did he was once again filled with anger at the amount of information the spy had given Bric'ien. Sheppard couldn't think of any answer, so instead he remained silent.

"No answer, Sheppard?" Bric'ien made a gesture and one of the guards wielding the heavy stick slammed it against his injured knee, causing Sheppard to almost black out from the pain.

He became aware again to hear Bric'ien say, "…will not answer that question how about this one: will your brother even care when he finds out you are dead? Until recently, you had not talked for years. Will it even matter to him that a brother who chose to act as if his family did not exist for years died? Will it affect his life in the slightest? That is your legacy, Sheppard. You will die knowing that your family cares nothing about you. Sure, some people from Atlantis might mourn your death, but what does it say about a person if his blood relatives couldn't care less if that person lives or dies?"

Sheppard tried to think of some sort of retort, but with his concussion he simply could not focus enough to get past the truth in those words.

What did it say about him that he gave up on his family due to a few arguments? He always has lived by the motto "never leave a man behind," and yet in a way he left his family behind without looking back. He gave up on all the good times he had with his family, especially his brother. They used to be able to talk with each other about anything, but Sheppard had allowed years to go by without speaking to him over a battle that was not even directly between them.

Sheppard didn't comment, but instead of striking him, Bric'ien continued, "Just think of it Sheppard: a father who--though perhaps not perfect--trying to contact his son before death, yet breathing his last with years of silence still between them. What a disappointment that must have been; what a disappointment you must have been for him. In fact, it probably would have been better if you had died first."

Sheppard knew that Bric'ien was trying to get to him, but it was hard to ignore as it resonated with thoughts Sheppard had himself. Plus, between being sick and the concussion, Sheppard could barely think straight to see any error in the logic, so he found himself accepting what Bric'ien said. He realized that just because an evil maniac was the one telling him the truth did not mean it wasn't the truth: he was a disappointment and a failure when it came to family and it would have been better for his family if he had died first, back in Afghanistan.

However, the defiance in Sheppard arose and he refused to let Bric'ien think that he won and had gotten to him. So, he did the one thing he could think of that would be the most disquieting for Bric'ien. He laughed quietly. "Bric'ien, that is a touchingly sad story you have there; too bad it is all fiction."

Bric'ien nodded to the guard and Sheppard heard the stick whistle as it was brought down to strike his lower left arm with a sickening crack.

Sheppard felt his breath rush out of him as his body tried to compensate for the flood of pain that was coming from his broken arm. Through the haze, Sheppard could see the delight in Bric'ien's eyes.

Sheppard tensed in expectation as he saw Bric'ien raise his fist to strike, yet suddenly Bric'ien stopped as something came over the radio.

Almost immediately Bric'ien rushed from the room, barking out, "Get him to his cell now and keep guards on him at all times!"

As Sheppard was quickly released from his bonds and roughly grabbed by his upper arms, he tried to focus on what was happening. It was obvious that something was up and he hoped it was a rescue of some type.

The guards dragged him painfully out of the room as his right leg refused to accept even the slightest amount of weight due to the brutal blow the guard had given it.

Sheppard broke out into a coughing fit, and the world spun before his eyes as he was rushed towards his cell.

He tried to concentrate and find a way to take advantage of the situation, but was failing miserably. His broken arm kept being jostled even though he tried desperately to hold it still against his body.

It took Sheppard a moment to realize that their forward motion had suddenly ceased; there was gunfire coming from up ahead and around a corner that spiked the pain in his head. Praying it was his team he tried to cry out, but he was unsure if they heard it due to all the noise, the pathetic weakness of the cry, and the fact George, who had been walking behind him, quickly placed his hand over Sheppard's mouth to prevent whoever was shooting from hearing him.

Yet, before Sheppard could worry over the idea that even if it was his team they would not find him before it was too late, he felt the tight grips on his arms release and he began to fall, but George quickly grabbed him and held him upright against his chest. The gunfire ceased after a moment and Sheppard shook his head as his mind refused to take in what was happening. When his mind could finally take in the situation, he saw Ronon with his blaster raised towards where Sheppard and George were. Lorne and a group of Marines were standing beside him. Sheppard noticed in surprise that along with O'Brien, Conner, Kent, and Weston, there were some of the new marines from the Deadalus; marines he had been sure disliked him.

For a moment Sheppard wondered why they weren't coming towards him to help him, but then realized that George was using his body as a shield and had a gun aimed at his head.

After a moment Sheppard was able to comprehend the words George was harshly speaking as adrenalin filled his body.

"…said, stand back, or I will shoot him!"

It was clear to Sheppard that they were at an impasse, since Ronon and the others had no intention of risking him being shot. Ronon, Lorne, and the other marines appeared to all be furiously thinking of how they could save him, while George was obviously desperate and would not hesitate to kill him if the others did anything threatening.

Sheppard tried to puzzle out a solution to the dangerous stand off when it came to him in a flash: George didn't think Sheppard was still any type of threat. After all, Sheppard couldn't stand on his own, was burning up with fever, and had a broken arm. But Sheppard knew that with George's attention on the people in front of them he had the element of surprise. He went limp as if he had lost consciousness, and then while George was adjusting his grip on the only leverage he still had in this situation, Sheppard suddenly used his good leg to knock out George's foot from under him while simultaneously ducking away from the gun against his head. Bric'ien fell down, but of course, Sheppard still couldn't stand on his own. He managed a kind of roll that got him at least partly out of Ronon's line of sight as he rushed to meet the ground.

The moment Ronon had a clear shot he fired, but it was an instant too late as George fired his gun at Sheppard as an act of final revenge.

Sheppard felt the sudden impact burn his lower left side, but from either shock or the adrenalin still coursing through his body he didn't feel nearly as much pain as he knew he should. Before he could contemplate this further, Ronon was at his side with a transmitter and calling over a radio, "Beam us to the infirmary, now!"

Sheppard felt the strange sensation of being transported and then found himself in the Deadalus infirmary with a host of doctors and nurses surrounding him. Before he could even blink, they converged upon him assessing his condition, calling out stats, and trying to staunch the blood from his most apparent wound.

Due to his violent coughing, he could not understand the questions someone was asking him. Though, he decided he would rather get his own answers than answer their questions at present anyways. As he struggled to breathe, he asked weakly, "...Rodney?"

He pushed himself to focus as the world kept swirling around him and heard, "He's fine, Colonel, now can you tell me if there are any specific injuries I should be aware of?"

Sheppard ignored that question, knowing he needed to impart a piece of information before he passed out. "…S…spies…Atla...ntis."

"We know, sir, now can you tell me what hurts?" But Sheppard had passed out. His will for staying conscious and aware was expended as he now knew Rodney had made it and that Atlantis was aware of the spy. He figured there was nothing else of importance happening and let his body slide into darkness.

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To be continued…

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think! I know a lot of people have been wondering what Atlantis has been up to, and you will find out in the next chapter. :D


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thank you for the encouraging reviews!! Isobel Kelte thank you so much for your advice, encouragement, and going over my story. Well, this is waht Atlantis has been up to...

Ronon stood out of the way of the doctors and nurses bustling around Sheppard, but close enough he could clearly hear the rasping breath of his friend. They had rescued him, but Ronon could only hope it had been in time.

Back on the planet in the midst of a gun fight he had been trying to figure out where next to look to find Sheppard when he had heard a faint, barely discernable "hey…g." Instantly, Ronon knew it was Sheppard and had rounded a corner, shooting the guards that were holding him up. It had made him furious to see the condition he was in.

Dark bruises covered his chest with a few bloody cuts and lacerations thrown in. His left eye was swollen shut and under the dried blood on his face was a patchwork of bruises. Ronon could tell Sheppard was having difficulties focusing and suspected that he might have a concussion.

His left arm was clearly broken and a filthy, bloody bandage was wrapped around it. Ronon had desired to beat senseless whoever was responsible for all the pain Sheppard was clearly in; in fact, he still wanted to kill whoever it was.

Ronon wanted to rush towards Sheppard, but was stopped in his tracks as a guard held a gun to Sheppard's head. Ronon realized at that moment that Lorne and others were with him, and he desperately tried to come up with a plan that would get Sheppard safely away from the guard as quickly as possible.

Yet, before he could come up with a viable option, Sheppard took the need out of his hands by knocking the guard onto his back.

Ronon could tell the guard was shocked that Sheppard could still cause any sort of trouble in his condition, and Ronon smiled grimly at how Sheppard was always full of surprises and always fought to the end.

As soon as he knew he would not hit Sheppard he shot the guard, but it was agonizingly too late as he saw Sheppard react to the impact of the bullet. He rushed to Sheppard, noticing that even in those few moments an alarming amount of blood had gushed out.

Ronon was startled from his thoughts by Rodney's voice. "What did they do to him? I mean, it's been less than a week, but he looks like he's been gone for months, and he's so thin!"

Teyla's voice broke in before Rodney could continue his rant. "Calm down, Rodney. The doctors will take care of him."

"I know," sighed Rodney. "Do we have any news from Lorne and the other marines on if they caught Bric'ien?"

"Not yet."

The minutes trickled slowly by, but finally a nurse came over to let them know they were working on patching up the bullet holes in Sheppard; the gunshot had passed all the way through and left a large gaping hole in his back as well his side. She explained that as soon as they knew something more they would let them know.

More time passed until finally Caldwell and Lorne entered the infirmary. Lorne's right arm was burned, but before Teyla could ask if he was alright, Rodney burst in asking, "What happened?"

"We almost had Bric'ien, but he had a small explosive device on him. Apparently he would rather be blown to smithereens than be captured," responded Lorne before anxiously asking, "How is Colonel Sheppard?"

"He is in surgery right now," Teyla answered. "How is your arm?"

"It's not bad." Then in an uncharacteristic show of anger, Lorne said, "I wish I could have gotten my hands on Bric'ien. This seems too easy of an end considering how Colonel Sheppard looked when we found him."

Ronon could not have agreed more and it was only his desire to find out how Sheppard was that prevented him from finding the nearest punching bag and decimating it. How was it that someone who had caused so much pain in another individual could have died so easily? Ronon understood better than most how unfair life could be at times, considering how his entire planet had been destroyed by the wraith, but the frustration he felt at Bric'ien not getting the justice he deserved filled him with righteous anger.

Teyla, obviously understanding both his and Lorne's feelings, spoke softly. "At least he did not escape."

Ronon had to agree with that. He remembered how much trouble Koyla caused because he had managed to escape, and was glad that Sheppard would not have to worry about Bric'ien attacking Atlantis.

Caldwell distracted Ronon from these thoughts as he said, "We are on our way to Atlantis and should be there in little over an hour. I'm needed on the bridge, but please notify me the second you know anything more on Colonel Sheppard."

Teyla nodded her head, knowing that though they did not always see eye to eye, the colonels had come to respect each other and appreciate their unique perspectives in situations.

After Caldwell left, the team waited impatiently for news on Sheppard, but it was not until they were almost at Atlantis that it was finally brought to them. The news was delivered in a sympathetic tone, though the words were blunt and to the point. "He's still alive. We patched up the holes and have him hooked up for blood transfusions. His left arm is broken and there was a badly infected wound there from where his transmitter was taken out. His right knee was severely sprained and he has a concussion." The doctor paused for a moment and then continued, "His back his covered with lashes from a whip. He has cracked ribs and his lungs have collected some liquid making it extremely difficult for him to get the oxygen he needs. His entire body is covered in cuts and bruises, he is exhausted, sick, dehydrated, and has a fever. Also, I would guess he was given no food the entire time he was captured. We're just not sure if he is going to be able to make it."

The team stood there quietly as they tried to take in all that Sheppard had suffered physically from Bric'ien and the fact he had been pushed to the brink of death.

Practically everyone on Atlantis respected and cared about Colonel Sheppard, and had been doing all in their power the past few days to find him. Sam Carter sighed, remembering the first few days and all the failed ideas and attempts to locate Sheppard. They had sent a team back to the planet as soon as they could. Yet it had taken a while, because every time they dialed the gate it was busy. When they finally managed to dial in, they discovered that Colonel Sheppard's transmitter was not on the planet; in fact, the research facility was abandoned.

They harvested the last fifty gate addresses from the DHD, but that was fruitless as all of those addresses turned up empty too. Zelenka hypothesized that they must have taken him through several gates, and since there was no way to know which, they gave that plan of action up knowing that it was hopeless.

They had contacted the Genii asking for any news their spy had, but that had turned up empty too: until yesterday, that is. A high priority message came through from the Genii; their spy had discovered there was a spy on Atlantis. Lorne and Carter had stayed up late that night cross checking every mission that had had trouble with Bric'ien and who had known about it. In the end only one name had shown up that could possibly be the traitor, Richard Hendricks, a scientist who had arrived on Atlantis about two months before Sheppard's first encounter with Bric'ien.

Lorne and Ronon had taken Richard to the brig and questioned him there. Sam Carter had been angry about the betrayal, but her anger was nothing compared to the fury Ronon or even Lorne had towards the spy. Sam found herself glad that both of them were on her side.

It had only taken a few hours of questioning to collect the desired information and more. Richard had been a member of the Trust and had been on the team originally captured by Bric'ien. Apparently, Bric'ien offered him some lucrative deals and the weasel decided to realign his alliance; going not only against Atlantis, but the Trust as well.

He had been giving little bits of information to Bric'ien periodically while he was on missions. However, he never gave Bric'ien enough so that he would not outlive his usefulness, which is why Bric'ien had no codes to infiltrate Atlantis with. Sadly, one of the things Bric'ien was most interested in knowing about was about Colonel Sheppard, so the Richard had given him as much information on Sheppard as he could.

Richard had also alerted Bric'ien when Sheppard's father died, and was even able to hack into Sheppard's emails to and from his brother. Sam shuddered a how horrible it must have been for one of Sheppard's enemies to have so much personal information on him, and realized that whatever physical abuse Bric'ien had unleashed on Sheppard was secondary to the psychological torture that had been done.

Through questioning the spy further, they also discovered that Sheppard was being held at an underground base, but that the stargate was closely monitored; if anyone came through it to rescue Sheppard, Sheppard would probably be killed. Luckily, the planet was only a little over an hour away by hyperdrive and since the Deadalus was at Atlantis; Caldwell had the Deadalus on its way as soon as humanly--in this case Asgardly—possible.

Carter had then spent the next few hours anxiously waiting for news. When it did come, her anxiousness was only partly relieved. Though rescued, Sheppard was in critical condition.

When Sam got the news that Sheppard had his team had been beamed down, she made her way quickly into the infirmary and saw the room was filled with people concerned for Colonel Sheppard, the most prominent of course being his team.

"Has Jennifer given any news?" she asked the room in general and was answered by Lorne. "No, ma'am, but she should be out soon."

Sadly, when Jennifer did come out fifteen minutes later, the news was grim. "He's not doing too well. I know you have all heard the list of injuries already, so to make a long story short we're just trying to make him as comfortable as possible. We tested his blood for any drugs and he came up clean, so we are giving him antibiotics to fight the infection and drugs to ease the pain. I just wish there was more I could do."

"Jennifer, you are doing everything you can. No one doubts your abilities and everyone is glad that he is in your hands."

Jennifer paused, blinking back tears. "I guess that is one of the things that makes treating him so hard. Everyone on this base cares about him and wants him to get better. In fact, half of them would give their lives for him in a moment: not that he would ever let them. I just hope I can do enough to take care of him. I always wonder when I treat him if I'm missing something I should be doing."

Teyla laid her hand gently on Jennifer's arm and then said on behalf of the team, "We know you will do your best, and that is all any of us could ask for."

The team all nodded their agreement and Jennifer thanked them with her eyes before saying, "I will get you when you can see Sheppard, but before then you should all rest. I know it has been a busy time for all of you as you have tried to get Sheppard back, so for now, rest." She then turned away to continue her struggle to keep John Sheppard alive.

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think! Let me know what you think I am doing right and what you think I am doing on wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: SEASON 5 STARTS TODAY!! ;D Thanks for the reviews. ;D Isobel Kelte thanks for proof-reading the chapter and your encouragement and advice! Sorry this is a shorter chapter, but more should be up in a day or two.

After seeing Sheppard with all of the machines hooked up to him and his restless moving, the team decided that someone should be with Sheppard at all times, and it was Rodney's turn. He had brought his laptop so he could continue to work, but found himself too distracted by Sheppard's restlessness to even consider working.

Sweat beaded on Sheppard's forehead and he kept moving around, which Rodney was sure did not help his wounds at all. Rodney leaned closer as he heard Sheppard muttering something.

"…Dad…I…I…should've…come sooner…just thought you…didn't…didn't want…see me again…I'm….sorry…wish…I…was…better son…You deserved…better. Least…you had…Dave…"

Sheppard continued on in his breathless voice, but Rodney had heard enough. He wished that he could do something to soothe Sheppard, but he was never good at comforting people, and in this situation he felt more than inadequate. In fact, he felt worse than usual. He was definitely not the poster child as far as family dealings went, and he only wished that he could say something to ease the guilt Sheppard was feeling. As it was, he could do nothing but let Sheppard know he was not alone, so he began rambling on about his latest research project, hoping Sheppard would hear him.

Teyla sighed. It had been almost two full days since Sheppard had been rescued, yet he had not really improved despite all of Doctor Keller's efforts. His fever was still extremely high, his lungs were still congested, and his numerous wounds were not healing as quickly as anyone would have liked.

Keller had hesitantly told them she thought it was because he simply was not fighting. She explained that he seemed to be depressed and didn't really care if he lived or died. Judging from his restless sleep, and the nightmares that frequently woke him but left him unaware of his surroundings, Teyla had to concur with Keller.

Bric'ien had not only hurt Sheppard physically, but had managed to cause Sheppard to believe that he was a failure, especially with his blood family. Teyla wished that she could get across to him that no matter what had happened with his family on earth, his family on Atlantis desperately believed in him and wanted him to heal. However, wishing accomplished nothing. She continued to wipe his fevered brow with a cool cloth, hopeful that in his delirium he would know he had a family that cared.

Ronon stood at the foot of the bed while the night nurse again settled Sheppard, who was once again asleep. Sheppard had awoken from a nightmare unaware of his surroundings had had tried to escape. Ronon had gently but firmly held him down as all sorts of alarms had begun to blare to alert the staff.

Sheppard had fought against Ronon with all the strength he possessed, which Ronon had found to be pitiful compared to the usual power Sheppard commanded. Moreover, Ronon felt shaken as he reflected upon the words Sheppard had called out in his confusion.

"Dave…sorry…Dad was…right…I'm…a screw up…not only…did I ruin…everything…the family…but…woke up…wraith…for…crying out loud…talk…about messing…up…Bric'ien… s'right…deserved…to be…the one…to die…Wish…I'd…died …n'Afghanistan."

After the nurse administered the sedative, Ronon found himself completely drained, though it was not from holding Sheppard down. Sheppard wished he had died. No wonder he was doing a horrible job at healing. He didn't want to heal. Bric'ien had succeeded, it appeared. He had made Sheppard not want to continue on even after he had been rescued. Ronon wanted to pound Bric'ien, but he found the desire tempered by the overwhelming fear that Sheppard--the strongest, most determined person he ever met--was ready to give up.

Rodney, Ronon, and Teyla were all gathered in Sam's office with her as Rodney continued a rant he had started minutes ago.

"He knew he wouldn't be able to get to the gate…he knew he would be killed or captured." Rodney paused for a second in his tirade, but his hand continued its agitated motion, as his other was confined due to the sling he still wore from his injury back at the start of all this. "So does he go back to the gate? NOOO of course not! He orders all of us through the gate while he goes back alone--ALONE to infect the database--that was my job! I should have done it, and now look at him--he's barely alive!"

"Rodney, calm down," said Sam gently. "Jennifer is doing all she can for him."

"…But…what if he isn't fighting? …What if he is just…just giving up?" Rodney's face betrayed the turmoil inside. "They did terrible things to him and you heard the things he has been saying in his sleep! If you can call that restless motion sleep…"

"We know, Rodney," said Teyla as she gently laid her hand on his arm.

"I just wish I could do something to help him," said Rodney quietly.

"We all do, Rodney," replied Teyla softly. Sam and Ronon nodded their agreement as everyone fell silent, all of them struggling to think of something they could do to help the man lying deathly ill in the infirmary.

Suddenly Ronon broke the silence. "Maybe there is. He keeps muttering about his father and his brother Dave in his sleep, so if we bring Dave here it might help him."

Rodney was the first to respond. "But why would that help him now? He's been near death before, but he hasn't given up…we've always been here for him. Why would he need his brother?"

Seeing his hurt and confused expression, Teyla sought to explain. "Think about it, Rodney. He gets captured and tortured shortly after his dad died and he saw his brother again after years of being apart. I am sure those things brought to light some unsettled issues he had buried."

Then Ronon spoke again, seeking to add his own assurance. "Rodney, John knows we're all cool. He doesn't know if he's cool with his brother."

Teyla spoke up next, "Remember what it was like when you finally spoke with your sister again?"

"Oh," was Rodney's succinct reply.

Sam broke the following silence. "It will be difficult to get John's brother clearance, but John's done a lot for the Stargate program. We just might be able to pull it off."

Despite the concern all of them carried for John, all of their faces brightened at the idea they could once again do something to help him.

David Sheppard had just gotten home late from an important meeting and was rushing to pick up Sydney for dinner when the telephone rang. Frustrated, especially since he knew he would already be late picking her up, he picked up the phone. Checking the caller ID, he discovered that he had no clue who was calling him. "Hello," he said, just barely saying it without growling.

"Is David Sheppard there?" the over voice on the line asked.

"I'm David Sheppard."

"I am afraid I have some bad news for you. Your brother was injured in the line of duty. He is in intensive care now; we're not sure if he is going to make it."

David felt his throat tighten and was unable to respond at first. Finally, managing to clear it he asked, "Where…where is he? Can I see him? Does he have the best doctors, because if not…"

"Wait, just hold on a minute, Mr. Sheppard. Your brother does have the best doctors, and they are doing their best to take care of him. I'm afraid at the moment his position is classified. However, in reference to your question of whether or not you can see him…that is actually the main reason I was calling. I would rather not get into a lot of details, but the physician overseeing his care believes he might do better if you were there."

Once again David was stunned. John needed him…the last time that had happened was when they were both in high school…

"I'll be there as soon as I can!" David replied in a breathless voice, already thinking of what he needed to do so that he could get on his way to see John as soon as possible.

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think. :D


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I absolutely LOVED Search and Rescue! It is so nice to have the show back with new episodes :D Thanks for the reviews you have left! Once again, Isobel Kelte thank you for being my amazing and encouraging beta!

David had known that his brother was involved with something classified, but as he signed the non-disclosure agreement he was beginning to realize how classified it was.

"There!" he said, throwing down the pen, "Now where is John and how do I get to him?"

"Your brother is stationed on a city called Atlantis in the middle of the Pegasus galaxy and oversees the military on the base…"

David simply nodded as the man quickly gave him a brief overview on the stargate program and what his brother had been up to for the past four years. His mind raced trying to understand everything. The man then led him from the briefing room.

"You know, this is a pretty unusual circumstance. If it wasn't for how much Colonel Sheppard has done for Atlantis and earth there is no way you would be allowed through. Though, perhaps the fact Sheppard saved General O'Neil's life once or twice also has something to do with it."

David filed away all the information that was being offhandedly given to him about John, deciding that he would examine it all in detail when he had the time. Finally, they were before the stargate. Though it looked intriguing to David, he had a hard time thinking of it as a gateway to other planets, but before he could think about it more, it finished dialing and what the man had said was a wormhole whooshed into existence.

Due to various business deals, David had managed to perfect his poker face, but it was strained to its limits as he tried desperately not to gape at the glowing portal before him. Ready to embark on the adventure of a lifetime to see his brother, he stepped towards it, up the ramp, and into the watery vortex.

As he stepped out of the stargate and looked around the city of Atlantis, he was speechless for a moment. Even this small portion of the city was breathlessly beautiful. And to think John was in charge of the military of a base as remarkable as this…? The thought of John, however, knocked David out of his daze and he turned to the two women and the man standing in front of him.

"I'm Colonel Samantha Carter. I oversee this base. This is Ronon Dex, who I believe you met before, and Teyla Emmagan. We're certainly glad that you were able to come, Mr. Sheppard."

"Please call me David. Can I see John?"

"Ronon and Teyla will take you to him. Everyone on this base is hoping and praying for the recovery of your brother. He is an honored and valued member of this expedition."

David simply nodded as Ronon and Teyla led him slowly towards the infirmary.

"How long have you known John?" David asked Teyla, trying to ease his anxiety as they headed towards John.

"I met him about four years ago. Soon after the expedition arrived in Atlantis, they came to my home planet of Athos looking for alternative places to stay in case Atlantis was flooded. As I am the leader of my people, John and some marines met with me. While they were there, my village was attacked by the wraith and destroyed. A few of the military from Atlantis, me, and some of my people were captured by the wraith in the attack, but John led a rescue mission, rescuing most of us. Our home was completely destroyed, so we came to live on Atlantis and then I joined his team."

"So…you are not from earth?"

"Yes…" Teyla responded, wondering how David Sheppard would react to the news that she was an "alien."

"Wow." David said in a way that reminded her of John. Seeing her questioning look, David explained, "When we were kids John and I always talked about if there was other intelligent life out in the stars. I guess he was right." David gave Teyla and Ronon a small smile that almost instantly disappeared as his thoughts returned to John's present condition.

Teyla thought back to when she first met John and commented, "Of all the people that I met from Atlantis at that time, he was the only one who I felt really looked at me; saw me for who I am. All the others, I first met from Atlantis, especially Colonel Sumner looked at me as if I was inconsequential just because I and my people did not seem as advanced as them."

"Even growing up, John would always try to make sure he didn't judge people before he got to know them," David agreed.

For the first time Ronon spoke up, "That reminds me of how I got to know him."

"Really?"

"Yeah…ask me to tell you the story of how we met sometime." As Ronon said this, they stepped into the infirmary were they were met by Dr. Keller.

"I'm glad you're here, Mr. Sheppard."

"Call me David. How is John?"

"He's…well…he's still with us. I don't know how much they briefed you on his condition, but it's not looking good." Jennifer sighed as she led them towards were John was resting. "Basically, he's given up. Not only did Bric'ien torture him physically, but emotionally and mentally as well."

At that David stopped in his tracks. "Wait--you mean to tell me that he was tortured?" He prayed that he had misheard, but the looks on Ronon, Telya, and Jennifer's faces confirmed it. David's mind began to race. His little brother and been tortured. Someone had purposely caused him massive amounts of pain. David thought of growing up with John and could not connect those images with the idea of John being tortured. When he had been told John was injured in the line of duty, he figured he had been shot or hit by shrapnel; torture had not even remotely entered his mind.

He shook his head to focus and heard Doctor Keller apologizing. "I'm sorry. I thought you knew…I would never have sprung it on you that way if I had realized…" She trailed off and David realized that he had no idea what to expect when he saw John.

Before he could ask any questions, Ronon and Teyla explained they had to head out, but asked Dr. Keller if they could stop by and see John quickly. She nodded her agreement as she tried to organize her thoughts, so that David would have an understanding of what had happened and why they so desperately had wanted his presence on Atlantis.

"The short story is that while on an important mission he got captured by a scientist named Bric'ien. This wasn't the first time they'd met and Bric'ien already had a vendetta against him. So Bric'ien did everything in his power to hurt Colonel Sheppard. In fact, that is part of the reason we wanted you to come."

Jennifer paused a moment and then continued. "You see, we found out there was a spy on Atlantis, and along with discovering Colonel Sheppard's location from questioning him, we also discovered that the spy had been sending Bric'ien information on Sheppard since their first encounter. Recently this information included your emails to John, and his to you."

David had been listening intently throughout the explanation and found himself shocked at exactly how he came into play. "You mean to tell me that this Bric'ien fellow used emails, my emails, as a way to hurt John?"

"Yes; he used that and any information he could gather on Sheppard's feelings on the death of your father." Jennifer sighed and then spoke up again. "I'm afraid his methods were extremely effective. Even though we have had him home for a few days now he's not getting better."

Taking a deep breath, Jennifer got to the root of the problem. "It's as if he has stopped fighting to live. In the past, when he's been injured, John was always able to fight it. He has managed to survive when all the odds were stacked against him, yet this time he doesn't care if he dies."

There was silence for a moment as Jennifer allowed David to take everything in. "We're hoping that you can help calm him down and get him to sleep, allowing his body to heal. Help him realize that he needs to keep fighting to live. I don't know all that occurred between John and you and your father, but I do know that Bric'ien managed to use it to make John think he doesn't deserve to live…"

Suddenly Dr. Keller's worried expression hardened as she analyzed David. "As I just said, I don't know what happened between all of you, but if you don't think you can help calm him I need to know now. I can't risk his health if you think old grudges are going to come forward and agitate him more."

David was surprised at the willpower behind those words and was thankful that he could look her steadily in the eyes and say, "I want to help him get better, and I will not let anything from the past come between his recovery."

Jennifer softened and smiled. "I know you still have questions, but I'm sure you want to see your brother. Though I need to warn you…he…he doesn't look good…"

Jennifer led him to a curtained-off section of the infirmary were he could hear a voice talking nonstop.

"…Zelenka then told that imbecile who calls himself a scientist to recheck the calibrations, and go figure, the guy was off by twelve percent. It was no wonder the systems kept short circuiting. I--" The voice abruptly stopped as David and Dr. Keller entered the room.

Only glimpsing the other man, David's eyes were quickly drawn to the figure on the bed. It was John, but David took in a quick breath as he took in his condition.

His face was covered in bruises that were partially healed, but under them his face was pale, except for a fevered flush on his cheeks. A bandage was on his head and his left arm was in a cast secured to his body with a sling. John's right leg was elevated and a thick brace immobilized his right knee. David watched in horrified fascination as his younger brother twitched and shuddered in sleep.

His attention was pulled from John's form when Jennifer spoke. "David Sheppard, this is Rodney McKay, head scientist on Atlantis and a member of your brother's team along with Ronon and Teyla."

David looked over and saw the man who had been speaking earlier. He was still seated, but he seemed to simply vibrate with energy. Before David could acknowledge the introduction, Dr. McKay spoke, "Hmmm, you don't look as much like John as I thought you would, but then how would I know, right? Anyways, I'm glad you're here. Maybe John will actually get some sleep now. I mean, my talking can calm him some, but just like when he's all here, he keeps tuning me out. Though why he would choose to not listen to my enlightening conversation I will never understand; after all, I am the resident genius on Atlantis."

Suddenly Dr. Keller interrupted McKay's rambling. "Rodney, I have to go, but can you explain to David what happened, and answer any questions he has? I was only able to give a slight overview of it all."

"Sure," Rodney said, and before Dr. Keller was even out of the room Rodney had begun a long and detailed account full of many tangents of what had transpired to bring John to the edge of death and David to the Pegasus galaxy.

SGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGAS

Later that day, Ronon stood silently against a wall as David watched as John lay, moaning and twisting on the bed, unaware of his surroundings. David wondered how his younger brother had gotten into this situation. He understood the basic facts that had led to this particular stay in the infirmary, but how did John get on a flying city in a different galaxy? David and John had been close when they were younger, but then as they got older and their personalities diverged more and more, and as John and their dad were always getting into battles they had drifted apart. Finally, there was the fateful fight that had ended with John leaving and them not seeing him for years. Horrible things had been said on both sides, things he knew all parties regretted. Yet, David did not think he had regretted any of them as much as he did right now.

His little brother was lying sick in the infirmary because he had risked his life to help others. Rodney had complained to David that John had known that he would be captured or killed, but that he had still chosen to go back to destroy the research, because he didn't want to risk Bric'ien creating the weapon again and using it against Atlantis. Thankfully, John's team and all the inhabitants of Atlantis had given all they could to get John back. They had managed to rescue him, but David was afraid it had arrived too late.

David still remembered when he was first told the condition John was in and all the injuries he had endured. David had been amazed that a man could endure all that and still be alive, but he supposed if there was a man who could do it, his younger brother would be the one. Even now the list caused David's head to spin. John was sick and had bruises and cuts all over his body, lacerations all over his back from a whip, a broken left wrist, an infected wound that same wrist, several cracked ribs, a concussion, and a gun shot wound to his side. On top of this there was exhaustion, dehydration, fever from infection, malnourishment, and what hurt David the most, a depression that was leading John even now to give up and stop fighting for his life.

SGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGASGAS

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think! Especially tell me what you think of David. Is he believable? Do you think it goes along with what we see of him in the episode? Any input you could give me would be greatly appreciated!

2 A/N: Just so you know I am about to have an incredibly busy week between trigonometry, intro to theater, and vacation Bible school at my church, so I may not be as regular in my updates (though I hope to be). Keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, and a special thanks to Isobel Kelte for going over the chapter :D

David had been kicked out of the infirmary by Dr. Keller and told in no uncertain terms that he needed to go and eat something. David tried to explain that considering how long he had been apart from John, he was still behind on spending time with him, even if he had just spent the last twelve hours or so at his bedside. But Keller would not take no for an answer. So he found himself in the mess hall, trying to work up an appetite when food was the last thing on his mind. Before he could even try and eat, though, he was stopped by a young marine.

"You're Colonel Sheppard's brother, aren't you?"

"Yes," David responded with a questioning look on his face.

"I just wanted to tell you how honored I have been to serve under your brother's command. I…I had been captured by the wraith, and I should have been given up for lost, but he never gave up hope. He kept searching and pulled off a hell of a rescue. When I tried to thank him for all he did, he just looked at me and said, 'We never leave a man behind.' Your brother is a hero, and well….I hope he gets better soon. This place would not be the same without him."

David just stood there numbly trying to think a response to that impassioned speech. Finally, he cleared his throat that was strangely clogged with tears and said, "That sounds like John. Thank you for telling me your story."

The young marine nodded with a look of understanding and left the mess hall.

Over the next two days, whenever David was forced from the infirmary, that scene was repeated over and over. Both military and civilians would stop him to mention some way John had helped them and what he meant to Atlantis. David felt pride for his brother at each new story, but the fear grew as well. There was so much danger in his brother's job, and John's desire to save everyone else, even if it killed him, made it worse.

He wondered if John realized how much he meant to the people on this base. David had asked on his second day on Atlantis while eating lunch with Colonel Carter if the base was always this quiet. A sad look had crossed her face.

"No, usually it is much noisier, but with your brother being so sick…well, it affects everyone here." Then in an attempt to brighten up, she said, "Besides, John is usually behind most of the noise here. He's either going through the corridors on his skateboard or getting off duty marines and anyone else who would like to join in to play capture the flag throughout the base. And those are just things he's done since I've been here. Before I came, he even once had a puddle jumper race."

David felt absolutely shocked by all this information.

Sam actually laughed at his shock. "I know that it sounds totally against regulations, but it is a great moral booster. Since we're so far from earth the options for letting off steam are severely limited; John understands that. It helps everyone be able to take a breather, and then can then go back to doing their jobs, refreshed. I know it sounds like your brother is being irresponsible, but let me assure you that couldn't be further from the truth. He takes his responsibility seriously. Sometimes I would say even too seriously."

David had simply nodded as Sam continued to tell him all the ways she was that thankful John was her second in command. David had always known that John had the ability in him to be a great leader; their father had known it too, which was one of the reasons he really wanted John to join the family business. Their father had thought that John was simply wasting that ability by being another hot-shot pilot. Yet, David now found, John was using those abilities and in a place more vital than the boardroom of a business. In a place where people faced death all the time, John was giving people the courage to carry on.

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David was sitting in the infirmary by John's bed as a nurse changed the bandages around his brother's wrists. David knew it was a small thing compared to all of the other injuries John had suffered, but seeing his mutilated wrists almost hurt more. Maybe it was because it couldn't possibly be mistaken as being from anything other than captivity. It proved that the bruises and cuts weren't from a plane crash, but that all these wounds were deliberate.

David knew John; he knew how much John hated losing control. So, David realized it must have driven John crazy to be captured and bound. It was probably the reason why his wrists were so bad. He would have struggled with the bonds no matter how tight and pointless it was. When thick white bandages once again covered the bruised and cut flesh, David sighed and wished that his brother's wrists were the worst of his problems, but as John restlessly called out in his sleep, David knew that it was not the case.

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After a night of restless sleep, David entered the area where John was laid. To his surprise he saw not a member of John's team, but Major Lorne, his second in command. It was clear to David that Lorne had just arrived there and he heard Lorne saying, "Sir…all the men are asking about you. They want to know if you're getting better and if there is anything they can do to help. All of them respect you, and want you back in command…I want you back in command. You know how much I hate running this place. Besides, this place isn't the same with you in the infirmary; much too quiet."

For a moment Lorne was quiet, and then he began speaking again. "Hey, remember those new recruits from the Daedalus? Well, you won them over. I told you that you would. After they realized what you had done to save Atlantis, I could tell they were ashamed of their previous attitudes towards you. In fact, they requested to be in on your rescue mission. I'm not sure if you noticed them, but they were right behind me when we rescued you. You should hear them talking about the move you made against that guard. They spread the story all over the city of how their CO, even though he could barely stand up and was unbelievably beat up, still managed to take down a guard."

In a quieter voice, Lorne continued to speak. "Sir, keep fighting; you've never given up before, and I would hate for you to start now…"

Lorne continued talking, but David stepped back out of the infirmary to give Major Lorne more time with his commanding officer. David could tell that Lorne really cared about John and desperately wanted him to recover. From the little time he had spent with Lorne, he knew that he greatly admired John and was glad to serve under him. It made David think about how much loyalty John inspired in his men, and wonder how much it must hurt them every time John got hurt.

David remembered how Sheppard seemed to always be getting hurt when they were boys. He always seemed to be getting into trouble. Some of it was completely his fault, like the time he decided to skate board off of the roof of their home into their pool. David shook his head, remembering how as they were taking him to the hospital, John had the audacity to say that the awesome minute in the air was worth it. "Dave, it was incredible! I felt like I was actually flying!"

Other times when he got in trouble, he really couldn't help it; it was simply his personality. If someone was hurting another, John could not help but get involved. This resulted in many trips to the school nurse and principal while growing up. Also, it got him a number of enemies; though it did result in John having even more friends. Yet John was wary of letting people get too close. He was always the type who was popular and friendly with everyone, but let few people know the real him.

Lastly, John just seemed to have either the worst or the best luck in the world. He always managed to be wherever the most exciting or dangerous thing was occurring and usually ended up involved in it somehow. Yet, despite how horrible or dangerous the situation was, in the end John would always end up okay. Well….maybe not okay, but definitely alive.

David saw that Lorne had left, and slowly made his way into John's room. Looking at John, he felt saddened. How could he have let this giant chasm occur between them? David did not have to take Dad's side on the issues as much; he could have made more of an effort to let John know he cared…

One of the first nights that David was at Atlantis, he had been sitting by John's side with McKay. David had realized that McKay was ill at ease about spending time with the brother of the man that was clearly his best friend, while said man lay at death's door. He began to ramble about the most inane things. However, one thing stuck with David and wrenched at his heart: McKay had explained that he had honestly thought John had no family.

"You see, he never mentioned anyone and when we were afraid the wraith would destroy Atlantis and we had no idea if we would ever be able to return home, everyone recorded messages to send back to those on earth. You know, a last word, considering the fact…well…we really didn't think we would make it. Well, when I asked Sheppard if he was done with his message he looked at me funny and said he had no family to send a message to…well…I just assumed he meant they were all dead, but I suppose he just thought they were dead to him…or he was dead to them…or something. Anyhow, that is why I was so surprised when I found out his dad had died and that he had a brother…."

McKay had continued on talking about one thing and another, but David had tuned him out. John had thought he was dead to them…he had not realized how much they missed him and regretted all that had happened.

It was just so messed up. John had spent all those years thinking his physical family did not care about him, while at the same time they were longing to make peace with him. Seriously, there were times life was just not fair! David just hoped that John would pull through and he would get a chance to get their relationship back on track and were it was always meant to be.

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To be continued…

A/N: Please let me know what you think, especially since I had a rather hard day and would really appreciate the encouragement reviews give…yes I am begging…


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: WOW!! You guys are amazing! THANK YOU! All of your reviews meant so much to me. I really needed them after the day I had...You guys are the best! Also, Isobel Kelte, thanks for proof reading the story :D

David wandered aimlessly around the city. He had needed to get away for a bit to collect himself and just stretch his legs, which had become all too accustomed to sitting in the infirmary. As he meandered, his mind was once again filled with awe at the city and the fact it was his brother's home. Finally, his steps brought him towards the mess hall and to his surprise he saw all of Sheppard's team seated at a table. His heart rate began to skyrocket; he knew that they had planned on having someone with John at all times, and this was the first time he had seen all of them together outside of the infirmary. He feared the worst.

He made his way slowly over to them, delaying the inevitable question; however, he never had to ask it. Teyla noticed his approach and realized what David must be thinking.

"John is still with us," she said with a small smile, "Keller simply made all of us leave to rest together for a few hours while she sat with him."

David nodded, nearly floored by the relief that knowledge gave him.

"Please sit and join us. We were just speaking of past missions," she continued.

David sat and soon was enthralled by the tales they told.

"Well, you see, when we first arrived the city was underwater. The power required was enormous, so we were all afraid the city would flood. Yet there was a failsafe that caused the city to rise to the surface. That was just the first of many times were we thought we would lose this city. In fact, it was only a few months later, that we thought a massive storm would demolish it," explained Rodney.

"Yes," continued Teyla. "Almost everyone was evacuated as well, while Rodney tried to finish the plan to save the city."

"Of course, the Genii had to show up and try to take the city while everyone was gone," Rodney bitterly muttered, still remembering his first encounter with torture.

"John's ingenuity did stop them though."

"Yes, but it was my brilliance that saved the city from the storm."

Ronon and Teyla glanced at each other, amused. Rodney never turned down an opportunity to point out that said "brilliance".

Rodney then told David of the time that an ascended "Ancient" came to Atlantis because she was interested in John, which caused Teyla to remind Rodney of the woman from the planet Dagan with the Brotherhood and the scientist from the city built on a super volcano. In retaliation, Rodney brought up the world that had wanted to make John king, offering the princess to him as a bride, all because of his super gene.

"What about the time Lt. Cadman was in your mind with you?" Ronon said with an evil grin.

"What…no…we said we would never talk about that again!"

Ronon just smirked at Rodney, so in an attempt to change the topic from an obviously sore subject for him, Rodney brought up the first thing that popped in his mind: a man named Lucius who had infected the entire expedition, minus John, with a drug that made them adore this said Lucius. Teyla remarked that even though the man was amazingly annoying and caused all sorts of trouble, especially for John, John had risked his life to save Lucius after Koyla tried to blow him up.

David then asked who Koyla was, and to his surprise the table fell silent for a moment. Then Rodney spoke up.

"Remember the Genii we told you about earlier? Well, the one leading the strike force was named Koyla. Koyla and John sort of became archenemies. Even though Sheppard spared Koyla's life, Koyla captured him and…had a wraith feed on him. He broadcast the videos of the feeding to Atlantis to get us to hand over the new Genii leader, Ladon Radim."

David was silent for a moment as his brain tried to take in what they were saying. "…But I thought the wraith sucked the life out of people!"

Ronon broke in, "They do. After the last video we all thought John was dead."

Teyla smiled, though. "Yet, even though we gave up all hope on John, when we found him the wraith had given him all his life back. If John survived that situation, it is most certain that he can survive now!"

The conversation again switched to more lighthearted topics, but David's mind was stuck on the videos of his brother's torture. David knew that the torture John faced then was not the same as what he faced with Bric'ien, but David couldn't help but wonder if he faced it in the same way. He wondered if watching those videos, and seeing how John handled it, would help him understand his brother more. Maybe it would help him reach John and draw him out of his depression.

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"I heard there were videos of his torture with Koyla…" David looked at Colonel Carter for confirmation, demanding an honest answer with the desperation in his eyes.

Seeing that he did not want the truth sugar-coated, she nodded.

"Are they on file? Can I watch them? I need to see what he went through!"

On the verge of denying his request, she looked deeply in his eyes and saw the same resolve that John Sheppard often revealed; she could not refuse him.

"They are horrible to watch, but if you feel you must, go to Zelenka. I will let him know to give you access to them. He can also give you the mission reports of the incident."

David thanked her quietly and left, seeking to mentally prepare himself for viewing his brother being fed on by a wraith. He knew it would be a horrible thing to see, yet he felt as if he would not be able to live with himself if he did not watch it. David had realized he knew so little about John compared to the other people on Atlantis, and he saw these videos as a way to ascertain who is brother is.

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David sat alone in his guest quarters, going over the past few hours in his mind. He had started by reading John's mission report. It had been succinct and to the point, yet it also had a detached air about it as if the person writing it had had no connection to the person being tortured. The other reports had been harder to read. Though they were professionally written with all the facts, there was no way to escape the fact that the writers had been desperately concerned for and worried about John.

The report by Dr. Beckett had been the most difficult. It had explained that, in his professional opinion, he saw no chance that John would survive after the last feeding. Though David knew there were many times he had come close to losing John since he had come to this galaxy, this was the first time it was spelled out so clearly. Even this time they continued to tell him there was hope; that time, the doctor had explained how he saw no way that John could survived what he had suffered, yet he had survived. He had found common ground with his enemy, and his enemy had returned the life he had taken.

After reading the mission reports, David clicked on the video and watched each video with growing horror. In the first, he saw his brother order them to not give into Koyla's demands, even though he knew he might be tortured. When the wraith entered the room John had begun to breathe heavily, and David wished that the outcome of what he knew was about to take place had been different.

The wraith began to feed and John shook in agony as his head rolled back. Then the wraith was pulled off, leaving John panting to recover his breath. David saw John's head slowly drop to his chest, and he wondered if he was even still conscious at that point.

In the next video, David watched with both awe and pride as even after the pain he had already suffered, John held his head high and faced what was coming head-on. He saw him nod at Weir's decision to not trade for him, and questioned where John found the strength to suffer such pain with such defiance. Was that how he faced Bric'ien as well?

This time after the feeding, John was clearly older, with his hair was turning white. David wondered how horrible it must have been to grow old in just a few moments: to know that you had just had years of life sucked away.

The last video was the worst. He felt his heart almost stop as he heard Koyla say, "Take your fill." The pain on his brother's face made his stomach clench. When the wraith stopped feeding, David saw that his brother soon lost consciousness and looked old, frail, and weak.

He knew from the reports, however, that even in that condition he had managed to escape with the wraith's help. How he managed to do that was beyond David. David realized as he looked at the frozen image of his brother that John had a reserve of strength David never had.

It made David understand that whether John was facing Koyla or Bric'ien, John would fight to his dying breath. Yet now, John's personal demons were causing him to give up. David took a deep breath and promised himself that he would continue to do all in his power to get John fighting again.

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To be continued...

A/N: Let me know what you think!! Please, please, please review...begging worked so well last time I'm trying it again...:D


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Once again thank you for all your reviews!! :D Once again, a special thanks to Isobel Kelte for going over the story for me and catching my mistakes :D

It was afternoon when Dr. Keller called David, John's team, Colonel Carter, and Lorne to meet her in the infirmary. Everyone's hearts raced with worry over John's condition; sadly, their fears were based in reality.

"John's getting worse. His body is wearing down from the strain it's under, and I'm afraid if something doesn't change soon, he won't make it. If you want to say goodbye to him…you should do it soon."

David walked back to his room in a fog. He was unaware of what anyone else was doing around him, and was unsure if he had even excused himself before leaving the infirmary. How could he have traveled to another galaxy to help John, and then have John still die? How could John give up after surviving being fed on by a wraith?

When he reached his room, it was as if all the emotions he hid under his calm exterior burst out. "Damn it, John! Why couldn't you have come home sooner?" David shouted at the wall. Why did it have to be the death of their father that finally brought them close enough to even speak to each other again? Why did it take his brother lying on death's door, apparently for the millionth time, to get him to find out more about who John is?

"John! We are brothers; we use to share everything and now everyone on this base knows more about you than I do! And to top it off they say you are giving up…that you aren't even trying to fight anymore. You are just letting yourself slip into eternity! You can't, John! You haven't even met Sydney yet. John you can't die, you can't!" And for the first time in years, David found tears pouring down his face.

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It was night on Atlantis, but David was still wide awake as he thought of John and the fact that it was a real possibility that he might die. After a few hours of trying to sleep and failing, David decided to head to the infirmary. He figured his time would be better spent by his brother's bedside than lying awake in bed worrying over him. Teyla was in the room when he entered and she nodded at him, continuing to gently hold John's hand.

"How is he?" David quietly questioned.

She smiled kindly as she answered, but he could see the worry deep in her eyes. "He has been restless tonight, and keeps crying out from nightmares."

"What are the nightmares about?" David asked apprehensively. He hoped that he was not a part of the nightmares tormenting Sheppard, but he feared that he played a pivotal role in the dreams that kept John from getting real rest even as he slept.

Teyla hesitated a moment, confirming David's suspicion. "From what I can gather, he keeps dreaming that he is still captured by Bric'ien. Then Bric'ien transforms into…you and…" At David's nod for her to continue she said, "And you accuse him of being a horrible son and brother, and tell him you wish he was dead."

Even though David expected as much from the previous nightmares John had been subject to, it still felt like a punch to his gut that his brother at least subconsciously thought that David wanted him dead. They may not have been on the best of terms the last couple of years, but David had never considered that it could get to the point that John thought such a thing at all, even if an evil bastard scientist had helped facilitate it.

Teyla interrupted David's thoughts by asking if David would stay with John for the night while she got some sleep; the child in her womb had kept her from resting earlier. David agreed.

Though he had been at Atlantis for a few days, this was the first time David was completely alone with John. He hesitantly laid his hand on John's shoulder as Sheppard continued to move in agitation. David heard John mumble something, so he bent over to make out the words.

"…S'rry Dave…w'nted…peace…thought… I'd…make…worse. Dad…d'serv'd…etter…you…too…wish…I'd…died…'ghanistan… saved…everyone…trouble…would've …been…better. Dad….wouldn't…'ve been… as disppointed…I'd…never…waken…wraith…"

David was unsure if John could hear him, but if there was even the slightest chance he could, David wanted John to know he cared and was terrified at the idea of losing him. He did not want John to continue under the false impression he wanted him dead, especially since it seemed to be hindering his recovery.

Hesitantly but sincerely David spoke. "John, you have to keep fighting. I don't want you to die, and I know dad is glad that you are alive, so you have to keep fighting to live. You can't give up. You can't let this Bric'ien guy win that way. At the funeral, I said dad regretted what came between you two, and he did, but I didn't tell you how I regretted what happened.

"There have been so many times I wished I had told you that no matter what happened between you and dad, you were still my brother...yet I never did tell you. Instead, I allowed bitterness to come between us, because with your job you were always leaving at a moment's notice. We never knew where you were going and if you would be returning, so when you had the big fight with Dad, I just let silence grow between us.

"By the way, I am really sorry for what I said at the funeral: really, really, really sorry. I just got mad that you were leaving again and it was due to your job. I never let myself see it from your perspective, and how much good you were doing with your job. Yet, now that I am at Atlantis, I understand. I've read about all the good you've done here: all the lives you've saved and the disasters you've helped them avoid. I even heard how your actions have helped save earth a few times. And man, John, the people here really care about you! I mean everyone is concerned for you, from Colonel Carter and your team to Major Lorne and all the cooks here. I've probably had twenty marines who've come up to me and told me how you saved their lives at sometime or another.

"John, what I'm saying is, you have to hold on. There is so much for you to live for!" David, who had been looking at his hands during this entire speech, glanced up and saw that John's eyes were upon him. David's breath caught as he noticed that though glazed, they were aware. David stopped, unsure of what to do or say, but John took away the need.

"…You…don't…wish…I had…died?"

"NEVER! John, part of the reason I've always been so upset with your job was that I was afraid you would go on one of your top secret missions and never return. I…" David's voice cracked, "…I didn't want that to happen. Dad didn't want you to die either. I know now, though I didn't know it originally, part of the reason Dad was so against you going into the military was he was afraid you would die."

"…Thought…he just…wanted to…plan my…life…"

"There was that too, but only because he wanted the best for you. He loved you, John, and wanted you to know that he was sorry, before he died. He also wanted you to know he forgave you."

To David's shock, tears began to flow down John's face. "…He…forgave me…and was…sorry?"

David's own eyes began to water as he saw the relief, joy, and disbelief warring over John's face. "Yes, John! And I'm sorry too! John, I…I love you."

"…I've…missed you…Dave…" And at that, mindful of all the wires and John's injuries, David took his little brother in a gentle hug. John hugged him back feebly, but surprisingly strong considering his condition.

As the tears in David's eyes began to fall, he whispered in John's ear, "Don't give up, John. I can't lose you again…"

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To be continued…

A/N: I know many of you have been waiting for when John and Dave would finally get to talk, and I hope you weren't too disappointed…Please, please, please review and let me know what you think…


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I want to thank all of you for your reviews and signing up for author alerts. You have no idea how much I have appreciated all of them. :D As always, I want to give a special thanks to Isobel Kelte for being my faithful beta.

The next day David received the news from Jennifer. "John's fever has broken! He's resting quietly and I think he's turned the corner and is going to make it!" The relief David felt was tempered by a fear that John might relapse, but the other members of his team, did not seem to have the same concern.

"He's fighting to get better now! And when Lt. Colonel John Sheppard fights for something he doesn't give up until he wins. He's stubborn that way, so since he's fighting to recover, we know he will," the team had explained. David wished he could have their optimism, but took strength from their words and the peace that he saw on John's face.

A few days later, he was again alone in the infirmary with John working on his laptop.

"Dave…?"

David looked up immediately at the soft noise coming from his brother's bed.

"John! You're awake. Here let me get you something to drink. I know Jennifer will want to be here shortly to talk with you." As he said all this he quickly brought a cup of water over to John and placed the straw in his brother's mouth and then pressed the call button for the nurse, so that Keller would know John was awake. John looked at him with questioning eyes; eyes that were finally clear and able to completely focus.

After a few sips John moved his head away from the straw and cleared his throat. "I thought you were just a hallucination or dream brought on by my fever." The sentence caused John to break out into a coughing fit due to his lingering cold, so David gave him some more water.

"Nope, I am here on Atlantis in the flesh," said David with a wide smile. He stepped back from John as Dr. Keller began to examine John, and was at last able to take in what Keller had said for the past couple of days; Lt. Colonel John Sheppard was finally on the mend.

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Hours later, John awoke slowly and took in the sounds of the room without opening his eyes. He knew that he had drifted asleep again while Keller was checking on him, and he wished he'd had more time to talk with Dave. John could still hardly believe that Dave was here on Atlantis and wasn't a hallucination.

John thought back to his memories of what had happened since he had been rescued from Bric'ien and realized most of it was a blur…a horrible blur. Most of the time had been filled with pain and unending nightmares. The worst events and memories of his life had combined to become something truly horrific. The worst involved his father and brother. They would remind him of how much he had failed them, and how he did not deserve to live.

John had believed them…until in one of his nightmares his brother suddenly switched from accusing him to telling him he had to continue fighting to live. It had deviated enough from the usual nightmares that he had startled awake. Then to his complete and utter surprise the voice did not disappear.

He had opened his eyes, and saw his brother sitting by his bedside. This was not the David from his dreams in immaculate attire with anger flowing off of him. No, this was David in rumpled clothes with his hair sticking up in a way reminiscent of John's. Also, instead of rage and bitterness, there was worry, and to John's complete bewilderment the worry was directed towards him.

Dave was telling him how much he had to live for and that he didn't want him to die. John couldn't believe it. His brother wanted him to live! When his brother had looked at him and realized he was awake, John had hesitantly asked the question that was burning in his mind; he tried to understand what this Dave was saying compared to what all the other Daves had been shouting at him.

"…You…don't…wish…I had…died?"

Dave's response had been instant and resolute. "NEVER!"

John felt peace flood him again as he thought about how Dave had explained that both he and their father would want John to be alive. His dad had even forgiven him. Not long after they finished speaking, John fell into his first restful sleep since Bric'ien had captured him.

Over time, as he slowly became more aware of his environment, he realized that he had to have imagined or hallucinated his brother. There was no way he would be on Atlantis. Yet, he had awakened to typing on a laptop; not the erratic and rapid typing of Rodney, but a much more controlled and consistent typing. Curious as to whom it was, he had opened his eyes and saw Dave in the flesh. He had been shocked that it had not all been a hallucination, but when he had called out to Dave, Dave had swiftly responded and put to rest all of John's thoughts that he was delirious again. Unfortunately, Keller had wanted to check him out, so John had not had the chance to really talk to Dave then, and he had drifted to sleep before she was done.

However, John felt more awake now, and became aware of sounds coming softly from nearby.

"Has he awoken again?"

"No, he's been sleeping peacefully since you left."

John opened his eyes and saw Dave and Keller conversing at the foot of his bed. Keller noticed that he was awake first and stepped forward, beginning to do "doctor stuff" as she asked, "How are you feeling?"

Taking stock of his condition, he replied, "Not too bad, though I'm guessing you still have me on some pretty nice painkillers."

"I do," she replied as she continued to take his vitals, "but you are doing really well!" When she was done, she glanced between Dave and John and said, "I'm sure you both have a lot to talk about, so I will leave you to it. But John, you really need to rest, so I'm counting on both of you to make sure this conversation doesn't take too long." They both nodded and she looked at John as if trying to ascertain the truthfulness of his response.

Sighing, she glanced at Dave. "I'm counting on you to make sure he doesn't overdo it."

"Hey!" John protested, while Dave laughed and said, "I'll make sure, though it may be difficult."

She laughed back. "It always is."

As she left the room, John stifled the desire to stick his tongue out at her, knowing that would just be juvenile. Turning his attention away from her, John looked up at Dave and smiled slightly. "So, how did you get to my city?"

"Well…" and John and Dave found themselves talking like they did when they were younger when the most difficult obstacle they faced was keeping their rooms clean…

It was the first day that John had been allowed to sit up for an extended amount of time, though Dr. Keller continually reminded him he needed to take it slow and easy since his cold was not fully gone. Ronon, Teyla, Rodney, and even Jennifer were all in the room with John and David, celebrating.

They had been joking about Rodney's enormous ego when Rodney made a surprising comment: "Actually, my ego isn't inflated; in fact, I believe my ego is rather deflated." Everyone stared at Rodney in shock, waiting for him to give a sign that he was joking; sadly they waited in vain.

John gave Rodney an incredulous look. "Are you serious? You think your ego isn't as large as it should be?"

"Well, yeah."

Teyla and Ronon exchanged amused glances at the idea the most egotistical man they knew actually thought he should be more egotistical.

David mentally wondered how John came to be friends with the man, which reminded him of a question he had been meaning to ask Ronon.

"Hey, Ronon, I never did find out what happened when you met John."

"He stunned me and tied me up is what happened!" John said, trying to look stern and offended even as a smile peeked out. John continued, "In fact, it wasn't even the last time he did it!" Turning to Ronon, he said, "What is it with you and stunning me, anyways?!"

Ronon laughed. "Well, it's always seemed like the thing to do at the time, but remember you shot me once too--and that wasn't with a stunner."

"You shot me too!" Rodney piped up, looking towards John.

"Well, so far I haven't blown up any solar systems," drawled John with a pointed look at McKay.

"Hey, it was one time!"

Afraid they would go on forever, Teyla said, "Can we tell David the story now?"

And so with the rest of the team's help, Ronon related how he had been a Runner and had captured Teyla and John. He shared how in the end, Dr. Carson Beckett had removed the tracking chip and they took him back to Atlantis.

"I hadn't planned on staying here long, even after I saw the destruction of Sateda, but Sheppard convinced me to stay."

John shrugged and then coughed a bit. "I wanted to keep that gun of yours on our side; it's too nice of a weapon to not have it with a member of Atlantis, and I knew you wouldn't let me have it, so I was left with only one alternative..."

Teyla, always the diplomat, smiled and added, "Besides, together we are stronger…like the Fantastic Four".

John broke down laughing until he started coughing. When he finally caught his breath he said, "McKay showed you the movies, didn't he?"

"Yes, but he said that I should remember that Batman and Robin are the best superhero team."

"McKay, you know that's not true!" John said with a laugh as he remembered their debate before they left on the mission.

"It so is! Though I will give you that as a team we resemble the Fantastic Four more, and since we are a great team, they have risen from my original estimation."

At David's bewildered look, John sought to explain the whole back-story and soon everyone was laughing and telling more stories to David of life in the Pegasus galaxy.

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Just an epilog to go…

A/N: Please, please, please review and let me know what you think!

2A/N: The line Rodney says, "Actually, my ego isn't inflated; in fact, I believe my ego is rather deflated," was actually said by my brother. He was joking…I think…


	14. Epilog

Epilog

Epilogue

John looked at the beach and crashing waves in front of him. He had been on earth for the past three days and was enjoying the time down. His arm was still in a cast, he had to walk with a cane, and still felt sore all over, especially his side, but he figured that in the overall picture he wasn't doing too badly. Of course, the fact he was unable to go surfing, even though there were perfect waves in front of him, was its own form of torture.

Sighing, he looked at Dave and Sydney, who were in their own comfortable beach chairs. Dave was typing on his computer, probably still catching up on work after being gone on Atlantis, and Sydney was reading a book. John had already had a wonderful time with them on earth and looked forward to the rest of his two weeks of leave.

Sydney was as wonderful as he had thought she would be, and he knew that she and Dave would have a wonderful life together. She had made John promise to be back for their wedding. It felt good to be a part of his brother's life again. Though he was unaccountably glad for his family on Atlantis, it was nice to have his family on earth back. He even felt at peace with his father.

The first day on earth, David had handed him a letter written in his father's script. "I didn't find this until a few weeks after Dad's funeral, and I wanted to give it to you in person. I guess I was sort of nervous it would get lost on its way to your base, and I didn't want to risk that. I…I probably should have told you about it, but I was unsure what was in it, and I didn't want you wondering about it for who knows how long."

John had taken the letter hesitantly and went to the guest bedroom he was staying in while at Dave's place. Dave and John had talked some more on Atlantis about everything that happened in their family and David had explained how much their dad still cared for and thought of John. Yet, he discovered his hand was trembling when he opened the letter written undeniably in his father's script, though it was shakier than he had ever seen the usually bold and firm writing.

Forcing his hand to be still, he read his father's final message to him. His eyes filled with tears as he read the regret his father had for what had happened.

"I'm sorry John, for the things I said that day. I only wanted what was best for you, and the thought of losing you on one of your missions filled me with horror. Yet, in wanting what was best for you, I forgot how different you and I are. You have a lot of your mother in you, and I tried to fit you in the same mold as me. John, I can't say how much I miss you and wish things had turned out differently, but I want you to know I am proud of you. You grew up to be a strong man that stands up for what he believes, and I could not ask for more than that."

Though John made a point to never cry, he found himself wiping his eyes as the rest of the letter blurred together. Taking a deep breath, he read on.

"I know that you probably regret that we didn't get to say goodbye in person, but I don't want you to worry about it. Just know that I love you, and no matter what I'm glad you were my son."

The rest of the words in the letter merged together for John. He had lived for years with the knowledge his dad was disappointed with him as a son, and wished he had been different. Yet, in one letter all those ideas were blasted away. His dad said he was proud of him and glad he was his son. John bowed his head as he took in that new knowledge.

Later that day, Dave had driven him to the cemetery his father was buried in. Dave had stayed in the car as John slowly limped over to the large headstone. Unconsciously, John straightened as he spoke.

"Dad, I'm sorry for the things I said that night as well. I am proud of you being my father, and I wish I had been there before you died." John was silent for a moment and then murmured, "I'm glad you wrote the letter."

He stood quietly by his father's grave for the next thirty minutes as he truly said goodbye to his father. Though at the funeral he had tried to find some peace, this time he actually felt like he would be able to heal. "Goodbye, Dad," John whispered before heading back to Dave at the car.

As John listened to the cries of the gulls on the beach, he thought how ironic it was that it was the death of his dad that had finally given him his family back after years of thinking they were lost to him. Well, not only the death of his father, but his own almost going over the brink as well had brought him to a place where he finally felt at peace with his father, his brother, and ultimately, himself.

John realized he was glad that he had his brother back, but was even more thankful for his surrogate family on Atlantis: a family that would do anything to help him. That included managing to overcome walls of red tape to get his civilian brother to the Pegasus galaxy with the hope it would help him recover. Who could ask for more than that?

John was shaken from his thoughts as Sydney turned to him and asked, "So, do you miss the people on your base?"

Smiling, John said, "You have no idea."

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The End

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the story. Please review and let me know what you think. Even if you have been lurking at the edges, this is a perfect time to tell me what your favorite part or line was. :D

2A/N: Even if you read this long after it was originally posted, leave a review! :D

3 A/N: I want to thank all of you for going on this journey with me, and I hope none of you were too disappointed.


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